Vacation Time!

So I'm sure you've hear me bitch and moan about JD never getting any time off.  That tends to happen when you run your own business', especially when you have a horrible time finding and keeping staff...  It's not because we are horrible bosses or the job, it's the pay, and we understand that, trust me!  Any way my replacement advised us that she had taken another job and was only going to be available to work 3 days a week.  Which means JD and Frankie our only other employee are down to 3 days off every other week. We were told about this 2 weeks ago.  So I laid down the law.  I told JD he HAD to take 5 days off before she leaves.  And to my amazement he did it!  So last week JD was home with his family from Wednesday to Sunday.  He had to go back to work on holiday Monday which stunk but whatever!  We made the very best of his time off we could.  Everybody co-operated, except his mother...of course!

Wednesday morning our phone rang and it was my brother and sister in law from Ottawa.  They said "we are on our way to you, do you want us to book a hotel or can we stay with you?"  Long and short of it, Wednesday was spent running around and getting ready for company...Y'know the drill...Costco for food, beds stripped and made, vacuum and wash the floors, cut the grass, and prep food for our big day out the next day.  Thank Gosh it takes 4 1/2 hours to get to our house from Ottawa!  Lol!  It was great though!  They got to meet Lucy.  I hadn't seen my niece and nephew since November so that alone was awesome!  But the fact that they are so in love with Lola and keep her super busy is a huge help.  And I swear my brother is the baby whisperer.  Lol!

Thursday we all went to Canada's Wonderland together.  It was fantastic.  There were no line ups at all.  We walked onto the biggest coaster there with no wait!  AND JD and I actually got to ride a couple of things because we had all this help with Lola and Lucy!  Lola went on quite a few rides.  Not as many as I hoped as she's pretty petite and didn't meet their height requirements for some, but next year she should be a little better.  It didn't matter a hoot to her though, she had a fabulous time!  I kid you not Lucy slept the entire time we were there, and Lola was a dream.  The weather was hot but not steamy.  It was perfect!

On Friday my brother's family headed into Toronto to do the Hockey Hall of Fame and then head back to Ottawa.  So we packed up the car and headed to the Elmvale Zoo!  It's a smaller Zoo but you get really close to the animals.  You are allowed to feed most of them, with the exception of the tigers of course!  Lola fed the giraffe and the goats, and she rode a pony.  She had a fantastic time.  And Lucy was once again a good baby for our outing.

By Saturday we knew we had to get Lola back on her napping schedule.  She was bagged.  We stayed local for the next 2 days and just enjoyed Daddy's company.   It was great for me as I barely changed any poop diapers unless we were out in public.  I still handled the majority of the feedings (until JD starts lactating) but it was wonderful to have another set of hands.  By the end of it I was almost feeling human again.  Hence the ability to get out on 2 runs.

But alas he is now back to work.  And to say I am struggling is hard for me...but I am...I don't know if it's PPD or if it's just me becoming an angry B*TCH!  I'm not always angry there is a lot of tears as well...But mostly that comes from me feeling like a terrible mother because I'm always so spent over the whining and crying!  Plus it doesn't help that LolaBean keeps getting up at 5 am when I've only just got Lucy back down after her 4 am feeding.  OyVay!  Any way I've got a post coming on PPD and asking for help.  Stay tuned!

Much Love!

ks

NewBorn Photo Shoot

I got our DVD of our photo shoot the other day.  I'm in love!  There are so many good pictures.  Now JD and I made the very big mistake of thinking we wouldn't be in any pictures so neither one of us was really prepared.  But that's okay one or two of the ones with us in them are alright.  The family shot is awful though.  You can totally see my still protruding 2 week baby bump.  Argh!  Oh well!  So with no further ado, here are some pictures of the L's!  Lol!

This last picture is one of my favorites.  My Mom hates it!  I think it's artistic and it shows just how tiny she was!  Speaking of tiny...My little 5 pounder is now...at 5 weeks...9 pounds!!!!  Crazy right!?!?  We think we figured out what all the crying is about.  It's growing pains.  She's 2 inches taller than at birth and my gosh she's 9 pounds now!  Yes there is some gas and acid reflux issues but you can't tell me growing that fast doesn't hurt?!?!  

Anyway time to sign off.  More blogging to come.  I've promised myself I will continue to document all of our adventures.  So there are plenty posts to come.  Next up...Daddy's vacation time!

Much Love!

ks

One Month In...

It all still feels a little unreal.  Lucy is here.  This last FET worked!  Oh my Gosh what did we do?!?!?  Lol!  

Life is a little crazy here.  LolaBean is adjusting pretty well, however, we are 2 years old.  And we are entering into the terrible twos.  Which if this is the worst of it, then we got pretty lucky.  Just too bad for LolaBean that Mommy and Daddy are so sleep deprived that their patience is nill these days.   But she has adjusted pretty well I think.  She loves to help with diaper changes grabbing the small diapers and wipes for us.  She will sit beneath us and change her dolly's diapers and wipe her poopy bum as well!  Lol!  She is too darn cute.  The trouble we have though is when Mommy is breast feeding.  We like to try to climb on Mom or steal her pillow, or jump up and down on the couch beside her or throw toys, you get the idea...Anything to misbehave to redirect the attention onto LolaBean and not LucyLou.  So here is where I am with breast feeding....

Do I throw in the towel and cry defeat?  

I'm taking the max dose of domperidone again and still not producing enough milk to be 100% breast fed. Now mind you this could also be my fault.  I am rarely pumping.  There really is no time when you are the only one home looking after 2 children and 3 dogs (one being blind and totally dependent).  And I'm very reluctant to breast feed in front of family and friends. Weird I know..  As I will breast feed in public no problem, but not on the couch with my FIL sitting across from me.  I don't know...I'm funny this way...  But anyway...LucyLou has been a right nightmare for the last week.  Gas pains like no tomorrow.  Up screaming most of the day and night.  Trouble pooping and tooting like a trucker.  And everyone says "Must be something you are eating!"   Now I don't know about the rest of you but that statement just makes me want to throat punch somebody.  I'm not eating anything funny!  No curry, maybe a 1/2 cup of a milk every other day, beef, chicken, asparagus, very little seasoning, like I said nothing weird...  So because I'm breast feeding am I supposed to just drink water and have soup broth for 6+ months?  And answer me this...Why is it only on week 4 of breast feeding that it has become an issue...Week 1-3 my diet was worse...More fats...

Anyway...  Because this is affecting LolaBean and breast feeding takes anywhere from 15 minutes to 1 1/2 hours, and she is getting a 60/40 split with formula already.  Should I just stop and try to enjoy my babies, and keep the stress on LolaBean to a minimum?  What would you all do?  Now please no breast is best...  I don't want to hear it.  This isn't my first rodeo, and I do everything I can to produce milk for my girls.  I breast fed Lola until 9 months.  Sure she was 30/70 breast/formula girl but I did what I could.  For someone who is menopausal with hashimoto to produce any milk is shocking, so please be kind.

Onto LucyLou.  She is gaining weight like a champ.  (most likely why I can't keep up with her)  She went from 5'12 at her 1 week check to 7'3 at her 2 week check!  And at that time she was only getting 1 bottle a day...(hubby was home more)  I would love to say she is an even tempered baby, and she might very well be but with this persistent gas issue right now we are getting a lot of screaming and sleeping with a furrowed brow.  Poor little cupcake.  

I better wrap this up...LucyLou needs a change and LolaBean needs to get some pants on!  Lol!  Ahhhhh life with 2!  Never a dull moment!

Much Love!

ks

Photo Post

Okay Blogger friends are you ready to be bombarded with pictures...?  Just to warn you there is 2 belly bump pictures enclosed.  I wanted to show you how large I really got!  Lol!

We were leaving for the hospital and Lola was rubbing my belly so we thought okay lets get a kissing shot!  For the last 3 weeks of pregnancy Lola was so loving to my belly.  Constantly patting at it and coo'ing at the baby sister that was coming.  Unfortunately she is still tapping my belly and saying tummy...Lol...So I guess if I want that to stop I have to get rid of the baby hump!  Lol!

It was so different getting to do skin to skin right after delivery.  Last time I didn't really get to meet Lola until 24 hours old.  This time I was able to breast feed while my Dr delivered the placenta.  What a huge difference this made to me.  We bonded and connected right away.  I will say though it all felt a little out of body though as it all happened so very fast, and my epidural was so high.  I kid you not I texted a friend at 3:12 and had Lucy at 3:20.  No one believed me when I kept saying I'm feeling a lot of contractions.  No pain but the tightening and I felt like throwing up with each one.  Apparently I'm really good with labor and delivery.  It doesn't hurt that I tend to have tiny little babies!  Lol!

Lola loves to hold her sister.  Well she did the first 3 days at least.  You can see how tired she is in this picture.  Spending 2 days with her 6 year old twin cousins will wear anyone out.  The first time Lola held Lucy at the hospital (Lucy was 3 hours old), Nana asked if she could hold her sister and Lola adamantly put her arm around Lucy tighter and said "NO!"  So I guess there is no question that Lola will be Lucy's protector.

Sleeping peacefully after some mommy milk.  It's funny from some angles the girls look exactly the same, and then others they look nothing alike.  It's really hard to tell considering Lucy is a pound and a half bigger than LolaBean was.  Plus she's 2 inches taller.  I really hope LolaBean sees the benefits of being a petite girl, because I think her sister is going to have her beat in the height department.

I don't know if I told you all her full name...But her full name is Lucy Jordan.  She is named after her Daddy. Since this is our last baby and JD will never have a son, I though he should still have a name sake.  I actually wanted her first name to be Jordan, but JD didn't want that.  And we were not set on Lucy at all.  We went into the delivery room with Peyton, Avery, and Lucy...  And after she was born I looked at my husband and I said you name her.  I couldn't decide.  And I was adamant about LolaBean so I though he should get the honors with Cupcake.  My mom still calls her snowflake.  And my FIL truly believes our 2 girls are complete miracles sent directly from God.  (I tend to agree)  I mean look at what we went through...  2 failed DE cycles, success on the 3rd attempt with twins, only to lose one to a SCH, and then HELLP syndrome with IUGR for LolaBean, 1 embryo left (frozen in time for 2 years) with less than 20% chance of success, and yet we did it!  With a perfectly healthy pregnancy and delivery.  I would definitely say that these two are miracles.  

And I hope by reading our story we give those others who have failed some hope.  Hope is a really hard thing to keep through out the IF battle....  I'll save my thoughts on hope for another blog post.  I'm off to get my toddler up from her nap.  Life is busy here, but I promise I'll be getting online more often now that we are finally finding our groove!

Much Love!

ks

Final Day!

Today is my last day pregnant.  Ever...  Single tear...

Tomorrow I go in for an induction.  We had false labor a week ago that lasted almost a full 24 hours with no movement to the cervix.  And considering I had borderline PAPP-A with this pregnancy, my Dr thinks it's just better to get her out now instead of risking her and I and continuing on another 2 weeks.  I am happy about this decision as I am so sore and uncomfortable.  My hip, knees and back are killing me.

Initially I thought I would have liked to have gone naturally, but with a toddler to think about having a plan is just so much easier and less stressful.  While I am sad that this is it, I am really looking forward to being able to bend over again.  

Here's some honesty coming at you....

I'm terrified...

I'm so scared about everything.  I'm worried about LolaBean and how she is going to react to having to share her Mommy.  I'm worried about finances.  I'm worried that I'm not going to be good enough.  I'm worried that cupcake isn't going to be ready for the outside world.  I've had a few sleepless nights to say the least.  And that stinks as I know I have a lot more ahead of me.

Okay now onto better thoughts.

This pregnancy has been so much easier than Lola's.  I feel so much better.  I've just now hit my starting weight with Lola!  But I have gained 36 lbs.!  Yowza!  I am going to have to run a lot.  And unfortunately the running stroller I wanted is not happening so it looks like I will be running at about 430am in the morning before JD goes to work.  Argh!  This is going to be tough.  But I can do it.  I want to run a marathon next summer, so training is beginning in August!

I have no new stretch marks.  And the ones I have are on my thighs.  (post pregnancy with Lola)  So I am very lucky there.  My cravings this pregnancy were almost the same as with Lola's.  Burgers and Fries.  Everyday!  But I curbed it as much as I could and tried to get veggies in.  Lol!  But sometimes cake won over veggies!  LMFAO!  Oh well!  This is the last time I will ever be pregnant so I allowed myself to indulge.  I am very sad that this is it.  But with financing and my age we just can't even think about doing another cycle.  And like you all know Cupcake was our last embryo from our donor.  She was our last Chance.  What a fighter my girls are.  Little miracles the two of them.  I just pray that everything goes well tomorrow and that Miss Cupcake is healthy.

An update to come on Monday.  And I'm pretty sure it will be loaded with pictures.

Much Love!

ks

1-2 cm's and UpDates

That's where I am at today...well correction as of yesterday.  So it appears this little girl will be making her appearance early as well.  I'm really hoping I am one of those woman that just walks around 2 cm's dilated for like a week or so.  I would love to keep her cooking until at least 37 weeks, regardless of how uncomfortable I am.  

We also have our maternity photo's booked for Sunday (Father's Day) and I would really like to get those done.   But it's not up to me!

I'm still working and I don't know that that is really helping us any.  Since I'm up and down the whole day.  JD is scheduled to work the next 7 days straight.  So if I'm not here I'm home alone with Lola.  Our business life BLOWS the BIG Gigantic gonads right now...!!!!  Angry face!   I just know that when I do go into labor it's going to be this big freaking deal for our staff (only one guy) to pull his act together and get into the office.  He's always a nightmare when you ask for that little bit more out of him.  Through the last 2 years he is the only person that has gotten 1 1/2 days off every week and a weekend off every month.  Anyway...can you tell I'm a bit cranky?  Lol!  

Okay so now onto the updates...

Lola's 2nd birthday was a blast.  She had a fantastic day.  She had a surprise visit from Grandma and Grandpa!  She adores my parents.  And they spoiled her with a play cottage that she LOVES!!!  When she wakes up in the morning she looks out the window and screechs "My House!".  God Love Her she makes me laugh!  We took her to Chu.ckie Che.ese with her Nana, Uncle, Aunt and cousins.  She was very much over stimulated.  I think it was too much for her.  She wouldn't eat there, or even back at Nana's.  I think she was in overload.  She loves her cousins (the twins) and they just ramp her up, and then with her Grandparents all there, it was all too much.  We got home late (8pm) from our outing and she immediately ran into the kitchen, climbed into her chair and yelled at me "Eat Now Mommy!"  So suffice it to say she didn't get her to bed until 9pm.  And we still had not given her our present.  And we couldn't before bed as it is an outdoor present.  So she really had a birthday weekend.   We gave her her jeep Sunday morning and she immediately took her boyfriend Teo (as she calls him) for a ride.  They were so cute with their helmets on giggling to each other, neither one steering.  Everytime we open the garage and she sees her big pink jeep her mouth opens in this big O and her eyes get really wide!  It's so funny!  

Sunday was the first really nice day we've had in 2 weeks so we spent over 5 hours outside.  Lola was awesome all weekend.  And then of course Monday hits.  And now her 2 year molars are on the move.  She still happy but she's not eating a whole lot, and she keeps pointing at her mouth and saying hurt, mommy, hurt.  Poor thing!  

Okay now onto the doggie update.

Well...she lives!  Amazingly enough our old girl made a major turn on the antibiotics.  She appears to be doing much better.  The vet advised us the eye no longer looks as though it is going to rupture.  Thank Gosh!!!  She may take longer than a young dog would to heal and there may be scarring but she should be okay.  Now mind you she is still blind as she is that old.  But it's all manageable.  I know her time is very limited.  But I really wanted her to make it to this one's birth and I wanted her in Lola's 2 year photos.  Cheezie I know...whateves...if you aren't a dog person you won't get it.

Okay I'm going to go and eat and drink something.  Please pray these are just braxton hicks!  One more week cupcake, one more week!

Much Love!

ks

33, 34 and 35 Weeks at 35!

My apologies for my absence.  Everything is fine with CupCake and LolaBean.  We've had some work hiccups and some doggy drama that I'll expand on in a little bit.  But first let's get you all caught up on this pregnancy.

I seem to be nearing the end.  At my last Dr's appointment he advised me if I can make it to 37 weeks we will be looking at inducing me.  It's just too risky as I had HELLP syndrome last time.  He's not willing to take the chance.  Everything looks great though.  My blood pressure has been holding steady.  I had a growth scan a week and a half ago and baby weighed 5 lbs.  I've had 2 non stress tests and passed both with flying colors.  My weight is up, up, up!  Which is to be expected.  I had hoped to not exceed 25 lbs.  And unfortunately I am up 30 lbs. now.  But in 2 weeks I only put on a pound and so far this week, none.  I have started to swell though.  And by swelling I mean gigantic, to the point of bruising!!!!  I did way too much on Saturday and started swelling mid day.  Well the swelling finally went down to a reasonable level yesterday!  So that's 5 days!  I ate broccoli, asparagus and pounded the water for those 5 days.  I also had JD give me very painful foot and calf rubs to try to pull the swelling out.  I do think having a bath in Epson salts really helped too by the way.

We still have not 100% decided on a name for our little cupcake.  We are all over the map on names.  I'm a little anxious about it to be honest with you.  Her room is ready though.  Lola's is finished as well.  I'll post pictures of that soon I promise!  I am packing my suitcase tonight.  I just have 2 more things to purchase and then I am ready.  For some reason a part of me thinks this baby is going to come on her own.  I think it will be the last week of June though.  My employee thinks it'll be next week!  Lol!  Only time will tell.

This weekend is Lola's 2nd birthday!  What a big girl I have.  She sings, dances, speaks in sentences, tells me when she poops or toots!  Lol!  There are just so many changes at this age it is so hard to keep up with them.  Everyday she throws me a new curve ball.  She's such a happy baby!  I feel so incredibly blessed.

And yes as the title indicates.  I am now 35!  My birthday was not a big how do you do though.  I worked.  JD forgot to get me the cake I've asked for for 5 years.  I was really really hurt by that.  I had only asked for one thing.  A dairy.queen ice cream cake.  I've been asking for it since my tube removal surgery on my 30th birthday.  And I am still waiting....  He did however get me a nice thoughtful present.  But I am having him return it so we can put the money towards the double running stroller I want.  I know...But right now it's a matter of need over want.

I am still working.  On what was to be my last day my one employee up and quit on me.  No notice.  I have a better job offer today is my last day!  FUCK!!!!  This sucks!  So I am working until I really can't anymore.  Which means until my water breaks or the Dr induces me.  We are of course looking for someone, but the quality of people that have come in lately is depressing to say the least.

Onto the doggy drama.  It looks as though we are going to have to put down my dear old dog, Maddie.  I am so heartbroken about this.  She has had a great life though.  She is 13 1/2 years old.  She has recently gone blind (no biggy), but it appears she had an ulcer on her eyeball that has now infected and is trying to rupture.  Disgusting!  We have been to the vet and they want to send us to an animal ophthalmologist.  Not going to happen.  That would be a $500 walking through the door appointment.  And then what?  Surgery to remove the eye?  She's 13 1/2 with a bum neck.  I can't in good conscience do this to my old dog.  Sure my heart is breaking at losing her.  And I feel awful that the money factor is playing any type of role in our decision making process.  But we have to be realistic.  We have a newborn on the way, a toddler, me off work for at least a year, so taking care of a sickly dog and spending that kind of money right before things are about to get tighter around here...Not an option.  

So I'm sad...Sorry to leave you all on this note...But this is getting really long...  How about I leave you with 2 bump pictures?!

Much Love!

ks

30 Week Appointment

I had my Dr's appointment yesterday!  Not a moment too soon (I'll expand on that in a minute)!  Everything looks great!  My blood pressure is nice and stable.  My weight is great (I only gained 2 lbs in the last month!).  I passed my gestational diabetes test.  I however failed my iron (as expected).  So I've been prescribed iron supplements...Urgh!  I am now down to seeing him every 2 weeks.  Still no awful NST yet, but I'm sure they are going to be booked at my next appointment.  As I'm sure I will be having a growth scan in the next month as well.

Now onto the not a moment too soon comment.  I have been having some issues with cough, cough... going, cough, cough...You get my drift?  Anyway throughout the pregnancy it has gotten worse and worse.  Where I will go 3-4 days with out going.  And then when I finally do have some movement, I get awful searing intestinal pain which is causing contractions.  The pain is excruciating   It feels like my intestines are being ripped apart.  I get so blocked that even my derriere hurts...Then I know I'm about 1 day away from when I will finally go #2.  And trust me I've tried all the fruits, veggies, metamucil you can handle.  Nothing seems to help.  I even eat prunes for breakfast everyday.  So now that I've been prescribed an iron supplement, it seems I have to take more drastic measures.  I actually asked the pharmacist about a stool softener.  Gawk!!!  So embarrassing!   But something has to happen, I'm afraid this intestinal issue is actually going to throw me into labor!  Okay that's enough about my embarrassing issue...

Anyway the Dr is not concerned about much with my health.  But he did note that I am carrying really low.  And considering Lola was so low and so easily induced he thinks it might be a good idea to back off a bit at work.  Unfortunately my job has me on my feet a lot of the day.  And because I've already had boughs of swelling and with how low she is...well we just want to try to keep her in there cooking a bit longer.  So I told JD he's got me for 2 more weeks and then we will re-examine how I'm feeling.  

Lola's toddler room is almost finished.  I'm hoping to have it done this weekend!  I promise I'll snap some pictures of it.  And hopefully they will have Miss Diva in them as well!  

That's my update currently!

Much Love!

ks

Connecting...

A girlfriend of mine asked me this the other day and it gave me pause...She asked "Are you feeling more connected to this pregnancy this time as it's your second?"  

I honestly had to pause to answer her...And to be honest...I lied...  I said I was feeling more connected, but that I was just so grateful for everyday that we are pregnant.  And that even if this doesn't end as it should I would still thank my lucky stars for getting to experience this twice.

Okay the grateful part isn't a lie.  But the feeling more connected part is.  I don't know if it's just me or, if it is some type of PTSD, or a defense mechanism.  But no I do not feel connected.  I feel pregnant.  I feel fat in that odd all out front hard soccer ball way.  I get winded easily.  I'm hungry and nauseous all at the same time.  And I feel her moving (not as much this week???).  But I don't feel 'the connection'.  I actually feel a little less connected this time then I did with Lola, which is really strange.

With Lola we had so much worry that she wasn't going to make it.  With Miss Frostie she's been fine the entire time.  And yet...I don't know...I can't explain it...  I think a big part of my disconnect is I have so little time for myself and my own thoughts.  I'm so busy with Lola, work, organizing the house, and just your daily life chores, that I have no time to focus on what's actually happening.

I'm prepping the house.  I'm nesting.  But I'm not connecting...  It's weird and I feel awful writing about this here.  But I need to be honest in case any of you find yourself in this same position once you reach success.  

With Lola I didn't actually feel the bond right away.  And it was slow.  There was this overwhelming love that grew like a fire.  But I didn't have it at the hospital or right away.  Mind you it could have been the magnesium sulfate and the ridiculously high blood pressure making me almost zombie like, but I still felt disconnected in a way.  And it really didn't improve too much or too fast.  Post partum hormones are a massive B!TCH!  I kept feeling like an impostor, and that I wasn't really her mom...Seriously I know it was all hormones but it was tough.

And I 100% know that it all stems from our infertility battle and having to use DE.  I can't pin point when everything changed.  But I do know that every night when I looked at her sleeping in her swing, or staring up at me while I fed her my heart pounded.  It pounded so hard I thought my chest would explode.  I was so in love with this little creature.  

So please if you are pregnant or when you get pregnant do not judge yourself too harshly if you don't feel that 'connection' right away.  It is different for all of us.  But I thought maybe one or two of you out there might benefit from knowing that I too have these feelings.

I have another post coming about PPD...I have a girlfriend having serious problems with this right now.

Much Love!

ks

99 Days Left!

Wowzer!  I can't believe we are down to the double digits.  It's time for an update on how this pregnancy is fairing.  

So far everything is great!  My blood pressure is stable.  I've had small boughts of swelling but it's always gone down after hydrating and putting my feet up.   The acid reflux is starting but I've managed it okay until now with tums or avoiding foods I know is going to cause it.  Little Miss Frostie is an active baby and lets me know she is there all the time.  I can actually watch her kicking me as my belly hops and shifts.  My weight gain isn't fantastic...I'm up 20 lbs now.  But I'm blaming it on the cravings that started last week.  I ate a whole birthday cake!  And it was no ones birthday!  Lol!  Plus the fact that I've been on Dr's orders to take it easy has meant I've been way less active than I would like to be.  But...this is all changing now!  My placenta is moving up.  It was at 1 cm now it is at 3 cm from the cervix.  So I've been advised I can relax a bit on my 'resting'.  Which means I am going to try to start using my at home elliptical   I'm aiming to start with at least 15 minutes a day and then move it up to 1/2 an hour as my confidence grows.  My body is missing the running.  My muscles are seizing up and just begging to get used.  I've had to drop Sunday yoga as it was cutting into our family time.  We don't have a lot of time where all of us are together and Sunday afternoon is our one day a week where we get to spend 4-5 hours together.  JD is on 60 days straight or some crazy S like that!  It's insane!

We still do not have a name picked out for Miss Frostie.  Nothing feels right yet.  We have a few contenders, but nothing that is like OH YAH THAT'S IT!!!!  So far we have Molly Jane, Peyton Jordan, or Jordan Jane...I don't know....

I've done oodles of work on the basement.  I am ready for the electrician this weekend.  He is coming to put in 5 outlets in the basement so we can have power in our 2 make shift guest rooms and our work out area.  Right now there is only one outlet for a 900 square foot area!  WTF!?!?!  Good job builder!  Once he's done I am going to start painting the wainscoting for Lola's new room.  This weekend while the electrician does his work in the basement I plan on washing the walls in Lola's room to prep it for painting.  I will also be removing the old curtains and hanging the new light fixture.  I plan on actually doing the painting next weekend!  And I'm sure Miss Lola is going to be a huge help with this.  

Well this post is getting a little long...  I don't have a new belly picture yet, but I will take one on the weekend for you...But don't fret...I'll leave you with some recent Lola pictures!  Ahhh My Love!!!!

Much Love!

ks

My Toddler...the Comedian!

Oh man!  This child just keeps me in stitches.  And it's not only me or us I should say.  Our sitter is a stay at home mom with 3 kids.  1 is 23 and has just moved out and the other 2 are 16 boy/girl twins.  She is from a very large dysfunctional family.  And you know life is life and there is always stressful days, and M (our sitter) tells me all the time she wouldn't make it through the day with out Lola.  She just cracks her up all the time.  I don't know that it is intentional or not.  I think it is just her personality.  She just has these funny ways of doing things.  And her vocabulary for a almost 22 month old is out of this world.  She is putting 3-4 word sentences together now.  She tries to have full conversations with you all the time, but you can only understand 3-4 words each sentence.  Lol!  

Any way it makes me so happy that she fits in with my sitter's family so well because once a week she is there from 630-630.  So she is with them for family dinner.  The twins LOVE her.  Both of them are dancers...And I mean serious dancers.  As in the school they go to is pretty much like the school in FA.ME. And the son, he dances in the summer in LA with Diz.zy.Feet...Y'know the group from So you think you can dance?  So the daughter she dances with Lola and the son practices lifts with her and bench presses her!  She Loves it!  She counts with him and signs and yells for more.  She bee bops away to music.  Even in the car if she doesn't like the song she yells at me change song!  Lol!  So come 2 - 2 1/2 we are putting Lola into a dance school.  I've researched and I've found a really good dance school and gymnastics club for her.  Next year is going to be really busy for me!  

Miss LolaBean has also discovered how to stick out her bottom lip in a pout.  The problem is she has trouble holding it with out smiling or laughing.  It's rather funny to see her try to manipulate us with this but be unable to hold it long enough to garner sympathy.  Oh but she tries!  She actually has mastered a number of things recently and gone backwards in some areas.  She now can really run!  And she's working on skipping.  But she is now refusing to eat with utensils...whatever...And I can't seem to get her off the bottles.  I've tried and tried.  She is just not ready.  And please don't leave me comments telling me how bad of a mother I am because I have an almost 2 year old still drinking bottles.  This kids eats like no tomorrow most of the time and she drinks a ton of water but she still begs for 5 bottles a day...and she is still so tiny that I feel bad for not loading her with obviously necessary calories and fat.  

Sorry blog friends I'm going to have to cut this post short.  Work is busy and I have to rush off!  More later and hopefully with some new Lola pictures!

Much Love!

ks

My Baby is becoming a Toddler

This week I have ordered Lola's new bed and bedding.  It is all toddler sized.  Her crib is a transition crib but it is going to be occupied by Miss Frosty.  We looked and looked for a good fit for her.  We took her to a big box store and tried out the twin and single beds and they just were not going to work for Miss Lola.  So we broke down and listened to no one (ha ha) and bought her a toddler bed.  It is really cute.  It is a white sleigh bed.  And I plan on her dressers being the antiqued white, so I think it will look really good.  I have been collecting wall art and picture frames that I like for her room for quite awhile.  Just whenever I saw something at a good price or that I really liked.  So now it's just a matter of putting it all together.  

Her bed is actually in, so we are going to pick it up this weekend.  We won't be putting it together until we have painted the room and we have a lot of work to do to get to that stage.  I did however order her bedding today as well.  After searching and searching I found something I liked.  It wasn't exactly what I had originally wanted but it is nice.  

I didn't order the valance.  But I did order 2 panels of the long curtains in the same polka dots.  I think we are going to do the wall coverings as shown with the white wood work, but I think we are going to paint the top a light pink.  I think the dark brown will make it too dark.  And we have 4 windows in her new room to cover so I was planning on doing dark brown panels on the outside window treatments.  I will definitely post pictures as we go.  

This weekend I am planning on starting the cleaning out process of her new room.  It is currently our guest room and my over flow closet.  I have clothes in there that range from size 6 - 14.  It is time to give some stuff away, sell some stuff and throw some out.  Once I'm done organizing and cleaning everything out, we then need to work on the basement to get it ready to receive the 5 piece furniture set that is currently in our guest room.  Then we can actually start decorating her room and Miss Frosty's!  So lots to do and less than 20 weeks to get it accomplished!

It still makes me teary just thinking about how much Lola has grown up already.  I can't believe we are already at the stage of weaning her into a toddler bed!  It's just all too fast!  I promise I'll post progress pictures of the two rooms as we go!  I'm off now to get some work done!

Much Love!

ks

19 Weeks - OB Appointment

First off let me say... Happy Valentine's Day!  I hope you all are surrounded with love today!

So 19 weeks!  Yahoo!  We are close to the half way point.  Well with us, this will probably be the 1/2 way point.  Unfortunately I didn't get all the results from my level II blood work at this appointment.  There was some delay in getting the results.  Little bummed about that.  Even more bummed that I now have to wait a full month for the results as my Dr will not phone them into me.  Oh well!  But if you thought this appointment was going to be uneventful you would be wrong.  Don't you know JD and my luck yet?!?!  Lol!  Turns out I have placenta previa.  Which is pretty common but still something to watch.  I'm under orders not to lift anything too heavy (I hope Lola doesn't fall into this category), no sex, limited time on my feet, no running, or biking, etc... You get the idea.  We will watch and see and hope it moves up.  If not I might be looking at complete bed rest and possibly a c-section.  (I'll get into my thoughts on that a little further down).

In other news though.  I'm feeling generally okay.  I've had a new pregnancy symptom pop up that I did not have before and it is super annoying.  Plugged sinuses.  And the sneezing, oh my lanta the sneezing!  I'm so tired of blowing my nose and crossing my legs to sneeze.  This lovely new symptom can go the F away at any time!  Lol!  Still having headaches too of course.  But everything else is fine.

My weight is okay.  I'm up 9 lbs.  My blood pressure still looks good.  My OB doesn't think all that stuff will start again until after 24 weeks, if it's going to start at all.  I'm still holding out with a positive attitude.  This pregnancy is going to be different.  I've definitely popped out.  I actually went and bought maternity clothes the other day.  I had to my stuff is way too big.  But I was very cost conservative and just did my shopping at Old.Navy as they were having a 40% off sale.  I picked up 2 skirts, 2 pairs of pants and 4 t-shirts.  The pants were $6 each, the skirts $20 and the t-shirts $7.  So not too bad.  I can still wear most of my jeans...most just not the skinny jeans.  But I seem to be a bit uncomfortable in them so I think I'm going to try to go shopping again tomorrow for some nice maternity jeans...we'll see.  

I had to stay home two days this week with Lola as she had a skin irritation on her mouth which resembled impetigo...(super contagious)  I took her to the Dr and got some antibiotic cream that seems to be clearing it up.  I totally disinfected the house, minus the floors as vacuuming is a little tough with her home.  She likes to be held while someone is vacuuming and I just can't do that.  But other than that everyone is good.  

I'll do a separate post on my thoughts about a c-section.  I've got a couple of blog posts saved in drafts that are coming too.  I promise no more blogger silence.  I was down for over a week with a computer virus and I hate blogging on my phone.  

Much Love
ks

17 Weeks - With Pictures

17 weeks!  Wow!  I can't believe everything is still just ticking along as it should.  I feel the snow baby almost daily.  Not enough that anyone else could feel it, it's just once you've experienced it you never forget the sensation, so I think you feel it sooner on number 2.  Okay let's get to the pictures...  the first picture was taken on the morning of the transfer.  Actually it was on the way to the transfer, hence the lack of heels.  Lol!  If you know me at all you know I always wear a heal unless it's snowing then I wear my Harley's...  But anyway in that picture I was 129 lbs.  Awesome!!!  The second picture I took yesterday.  You can see the belly has definitely popped out.  I think I am 135 lbs. right now.  I don't know I haven't weighed myself this week.  I feel a lot bigger than that though.  I'm a little afraid to get on the scale.  But I will say this today I am wearing the exact same outfit that I am in picture #1, it just fits a little snugger...  Lol!  

 

I haven't purchased or tried on any of my maternity clothes yet.  Mainly because I lent a lot of my maternity clothes to a friend and just haven't gotten them back.  The problem is the friend is the same size as me (roughly) and everything is too big for her as well.  So it sounds like I am going to have to buy some new pants.  And I think I am going to have to break down soon too.  Everything just feels uncomfortable lately.  It just all hits in the wrong spots.  

Health wise I'm feeling okay.  I've been battling a head cold for over a week now and that is dragging me down.  But other than that I'm alright.  I still am suffering from wicked headaches, but I'm getting used to them.  I have my level II ultrasound on Monday.  I'm hoping I will be able to find out the sex.  JD is not able to come to the appointment with me, so I just might not share if I do find out. Lol!  Who am I kidding I won't be able to contain myself.  This is when it became very real with Lola and I have a feeling it will be the same with snow baby.  

And no I have not made it back to the gym yet.  That is one thing that is really putting me a bad mood.  I just can't seem to find the time or the energy.  I know I would feel a whole lot better if I just went and did it, but honestly the hour of alone time in between work and picking up Lola is just so nice at the house...  I get the dishes done, I lay out dinner, I have a snack and a power nap.  I am still going to pre-natal yoga and that feels good.  I also am back to taking Lola swimming, but we are going on Sunday mornings now.  That's about all I have on pregnancy #2 updates.  

I thought I would leave you with a picture of the LolaBean.  She was on a nature walk with Daddy...Hence the joyous smile on her face.  She's a total Daddy's Girl.  

Much Love!

ks

Looking Good!!!

We had our NT scan today and everything looks to be as it should.  The nuchal measurement was 1.5 which I know is good.  The heart rate was 150...  Which if you believe in the old wives tale means we just may have a sausage in there.  Lol!  Who knows!  We'll find out for sure in 7 more weeks.  

I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders now!  I didn't sleep a wink last night.  I was having awful visions of having to go for a D&C next week and having to call everyone who knows and tell them it was over.  But Thank the lucky stars.  Everything was just as it should be.

This little critter is quite the active one.  Jumping and waving his/her arms all over the place.  LolaBean was really good during the u/s.  She kept saying Babbee...Bellllleee!  OMG she's just too darn cute!  Okay well I must dash off, it's time to get dinner on the table for Miss Bean!

Lots of Love
ks

The Happenings..!

Have a disappeared into the great Abyss?  No.  Have I been knocked down by some great plague?  No.  Have I just been too lazy to get out my laptop and type...kind of!  Lol!  Actually even that's not true.  I have written 3 separate drafts that all are sitting unpublished in my ques.  Every time I get close to finishing one, I get sidetracked at the office and can never get it totally finished and ready for publication.  Oh well!  

So onto what's been happening in my neck of the world!

LolaBean in fact did end up with Croup.  Thus locking her and I in the house for 9 days straight.  We unfortunately missed 2 Christmas parties during this lock down.  But thankfully she is much better now.  She refused to eat for about 5 days of the croup.  Only having bottles and yogurt.  My poor little thing.  Her voice was so raspy.  All she wanted to do was watch her shows and snuggle with Mommy on the couch.  I kept her home until Tuesday of this week.  Just to make 100% sure that we were over the contagious stage of this bug.  

She had her 18 month well child check up yesterday.  She passed everything with flying colors.  She weighs 23 lbs and is 30 1/2 inches long.  She's hit all her milestones development wise.  So the Dr is quite happy with her.  As are we.  We are continually surprised by her developing vocabulary.  We say things to her once or twice and she's got it.  We taught her 'knuckles' the other day, not expecting her pick up on the word just the action...  (pound..y'know?  knuckles!)  And sure enough every time we present her with our fist she says 'knuckles' in this sweet little voice.  We work on all our family members names daily and she is getting them and starting to understand who is who.  We also have worked on the dogs as we discovered she was calling 2 of the dogs the same name.  Lol!  She was having a hard time saying Lexxie!  So she was calling her Maddie as well.  Well that one took us a week and sure enough 2 days ago she started saying Exxie.  No L but it's pretty close!  She seems to have trouble with words that start with L.  We can very rarely get her to say her own name.  And when she does she drops her voice down an octave! Lol!  Gosh she makes me laugh!

Onto the BumpDate...

I had my first OB appointment yesterday as well.  Is was nothing special.  Pretty much a meet and great.  I'm using the same OB I had with Lola.  Of course I had no paperwork for him as my local clinic here has down the poop hole since my Dr left.  So I have to redo all my blood work and such.  No ultra sound yesterday or doppler.  My Dr doesn't like to try the doppler until about 14 weeks, and most Canadian Dr's do not have u/s machines at their ready in their offices.  So I'm still waiting for confirmation that everything is okay in there.  I have my NT scan booked for next Thursday as I will be 12 weeks on Friday the 28th.  So I have to just have faith until then.  I think I have a noticeable bump already.  But most people would just think I've been cheating on my diet and not working out.  

Speaking of working out.  My Dr would like me not to run until after my 12 week scan.  He wants to make sure that the placenta is in a good position.  But he's not a huge advocate of working out when pregnant anyway, so I do not really plan on taking all of his advice to heart.  I know way too many moms who have been able to work out in almost the same fashion that they did prior to pregnancy with some modification.  And I plan on doing the same.  I won't be running 5 miles, but maybe 3 with more walking breaks, and lower weights, and more swimming.  So Cross.fit training is out until after Frostie comes!  LOL!  I have one girlfriend who did crossfit training all the way through her pregnancy, but she didn't have to pay $ to get pregnant so a little different attitude I think!  

There's lots more going on right now, but this is getting a little long.  More posts in the works!  

Much Love!

ks

Sick of Being Sick!

My house has been plagued by one bug after another for the last month.  We all got nailed with that horrible flu bug...of course at different times!  Then once we had one healthy day we all started coming down with that dang awful head cold that's going around.  Aaarrrgghhh!  It's been a nightmare to say the least.  And this head cold seems to be a really hard one to shake.  

Having the flu with morning sickness is absolutely no fun.  I was not a happy girl.  It took me awhile to figure out that it was the flu, I kept saying to JD if this is pregnancy I don't know if I can handle 8 weeks of this crap!  I still have nausea but it seems to be starting to wain a little bit.  Thank the lucky stars.  I hope that means that things are still going along swimmingly as I haven't had an u/s in over 2 weeks!  If your wondering if I'm starting to freak out...you are right.  I stop all my medications tomorrow.  I'm excited but scared at the same time.  I just have to have faith that things will work out as they should.

On a plus though I finally made it back to the gym.  Woot!  Woot!  I ran on Friday.  I only did 2.5 miles.  But it felt great to stretch my legs again.  To get my heart pumping.  Yes I watched my heart rate and when it got too high I walked to bring it back down.  My legs felt alive again the next day.  I haven't been able to get there again since as Miss LolaBean seems to be coming down with something again.  But I am hoping to get there tomorrow morning as Daddy is home!  

LolaBean started to get sick again on the weekend.  At first it was just not wanting to sleep.   Happy but no sleeping.  Then on Sunday she started not eating.  So now, not eating and not sleeping, but still happy.  Then yesterday we had meltdown after meltdown.  And finally by night fall she pointed at her throat and said hurt. Broke my bloody heart!  Now she's got a dry barky cough.  So of course I'm worried it's croup.  I'm trying to get her into the Dr this morning.  Unfortunately she is at the sitter's now as I had to come in to work to open the office (no one available).  Gosh I'm really starting to hate winter.  

So this is my sick house update!  I promise I'll post more and some picture posts are coming!

Much Love!

ks

All About Lola Post!

Oh my she is just too funny!  I think this might just be my favorite age.  We have quite the little talker on our hands.  She parrots almost everything we say.  So JD and I are really having to watch our P's and Q's lately. I have no idea how many words she actually has as I haven't sat there and counted.  But she sure does pick things up pretty quick.  She now knows who Santa is!  And she says his name a whole lot!  Lol!  We are having trouble with L's though.  She won't even attempt a word with an L in it?  She used to say Lalalala as a baby but now never!  We've been working on it.  

Her understanding of her surroundings is amazing too!  I ask her where Mommy's belly is.  And she proceeds to pull up my shirt and tap my belly!  I tell her it's bath time and she runs to the stairs and heads to her bathroom.  If I tell her Mommy has to go potty, she goes to the gate and tries to open it for me so I can go to the powder room!  Lol!  Yes I tell my child Mommy is going pee pee in the potty!  I'm planning on attempting potty training over the holidays (as I'll be home with her from the 24th to the 2nd).  I ask Lola if she wants a Reece's Pieces.  She yells pieces and runs to the kitchen corner where I keep them!

Oh running!  This is something she has really been working on.  She doesn't quite have it down yet, but she's getting faster.  Lately she has this new thing we've named Happy Feet!  Where she stands in one spot and pretends she's running.  It's hilarious!  She's also getting more dance moves.  She now stomps her feet, claps her hands above her head and of course she does the booty drop!  God this child kills me!  Lol!  

Her eating habits have been a little all over the place lately.  I think we've been teething for over a month now.  She has one canine through, and I think the others are on their way down and out as well.  So she's gone hot and cold.  As in one day she wants hot food, next day cold food, some days only really soft food, others crunchy.  She's obsessed with asparagus right now.  Is hating corn all of a sudden?  It's been a total guessing game.  And since I've been feeling terrible for over a week now, our home cooked dinners have been few and far between.  So Lola has had to enjoy some pretty boring meals.  Not a lot of creative juices flowing when everything makes you green and when you usually  prep meals while she naps instead, yourself are snoring logs on the couch.  The quick easy dinners tend to win!

We finally took LolaBean for her very first haircut last weekend.  It wasn't too bad.  JD only had one single tear escape.  My big softie hubby!  I swear her hair was thicker 2 days later!  We've now started blowdrying her hair at night after her bath.  I blow dry it while she brushes her teeth.  She refuses to let anyone else help her brush her teeth.  So we just let her do it.  

I have just one picture I can share today.  I haven't plugged in my phone lately so this is 3 weeks old.  I will get off my butt soon though and get some good pictures up!  Maybe in 4 weeks when my nausea is gone!  Lol!

That's all for today!

Much Love!

ks

 

5DP FET

And I still haven't POAS!  I know crazy right?!  I'm too scared...  What if it's negative?  What if this didn't work?  I don't want to pop the bubble too soon...But at the same time I want to know...Arrgghhh!  This whole IF business is a real kick in the uterus!

How am I feeling...Well...Most of my weird little symptoms could be from the PIO or it could just all be in my head!  But I'll write them down for future reference.  As I know I've been scrolling the Internet for others going through the 2ww...

Achieness in my uterus...Check

Waves of nausea ..Check...which is really weird for me as I've never had morning sickness...I think it might be stress related or being over tired.

And folks that's it...I have no sore tatas...no tugging or pulling sensations in my uterus.  Nothing.  So as you can see there is absolutely no way to know one way or the other what is actually going on in there.  JD has asked me not to POAS.  He wants me to wait until Tuesday.  I see his point.  We are enjoying this time of being in the moment and PUPO.  And really who wants to be proven otherwise when there is nothing you can do about it.  SIGH!!!

I know I'll make it through a negative...as I swear I have the sweetest baby.  She has now started in the morning just calling for me in this tiny little happy voice.  Mommy....Dada...Mommy...Dada...?  Oh my gosh it just melts our hearts!  Before she always just chattered, but now she knows who she wants and she wants us!  *heart expanding*.  The first 2 nights of us being home she was getting up and calling us in the middle of the night.  I think she was afraid we were gone again.  Poor little mite!  But sure enough one of us would go in and lay her down and she'd happily go back to LALA land!  LOL!  

On a side note!  I am so over the moon excited for Will and Mo!  It just fills my heart to know that they are finally reaching their happy ending.  And I am so glad she is going to get to experience that heart exploding love that stays for the next (I don't know) 18 years of life with your child!  Congratulations Will & Mo!  I wish you all the joy in the world with Ms. Magpie!

2DP FET

And how am I felling?

Well....

Not so good actually!  

The emotions that go with all of this are so hard to navigate.  One minute your up, the next you are down.  Right now I'm down.  The stats are what they are.  FET's do not have as good of stats as fresh.  Yes they've come along way, but even with a fresh transfer there is no guarantee.  

I've been crampy and sore since the transfer.  Now this could be because I ran 2 miles before the transfer, so my abs could be a little sore.  I don't know.  

I know I had cramping with my last transfer but it was different.  This cramping doesn't feel positive.  This cramping feels like my body is trying to release my little embryo.  I don't know...And really you can't know anything 2 days post a 5 day transfer.

Now onto other news...  

Coming home to Lola!  It was the best thing in the world to see my little girl.  I feel awful though as now she is having trouble letting me even go to the bathroom!  This morning dropping her off at the sitter was a nightmare!  She had to be picked up and turned away while I snuck out the door!  Sniff...sniff..  my sweet little girl!

I'm going to stay home with her tomorrow and the weekend so hopefully she will get back to normal.  I'm not really supposed to be picking her up, but OMG that is impossible not to!  She only wants her Mommy right now.  And she doesn't understand.  So yes I've had to pick up my 20 lbs daughter a number of time since I got home last night.  That being yet another reason why I think this isn't going to work.

Oh sigh!  

Anyway I have a picture post of all our fun times in Washington coming very soon!  And I leave you with this question...When do you think I should start peeing on those sticks!  LOL!  I have 8 waiting!

Much Love!

ks