July 13, 2016

Growing Up

The girls are growing up like little weeds.  Lola is now 5 years old and Lucy is 3.  We are down to one diaper a day.  Just on Lucy for bed time, and that's because she is such a heavy sleeper.  Lola danced competitively this year and she did wonderful.  She LOVES dancing on the stage.  Both girls are into gymnastics, so much so that we have pvr'd the trials for the Olympics and they watch it over and over again.   Lola is also playing her first year of t-ball this year.  At first she loved it.  But as our summer has gotten hotter and hotter, her interest is waning.  Doesn't help that her uniform is 3 sizes too big for her.  She's still just a wee little peanut.  Lucy wants to play t-ball and has on occasion gone into the field during Lola's practice to fetch balls for the team.  She is actually better as t-ball than Lola!  Lol!  AND the gymnastics coach thinks that Lucy is much better at gymnastics.  Uh!  Oh! We've actually just signed Lucy up for gymnastics throughout the summer to keep her momentum going.  And this is going to be her first time without Mommy walking beside her while she does it. And knowing that she is not the most socially comfortable kid, this could prove challenging and we think summer would be the better time to get her adjusted.

I think all of this is where my want for a small little baby is coming from.  There are no cuddle monsters in my house.  We have to beg for hugs and kisses.  Lol!

The girls are the best of friends and the worst of enemies.  Exactly what I always wanted.  Siblings that are each other's everything.  They both have asked for a baby brother.  Actually Lola told me that someone is missing from our house...  THAT statement made me pause.  As yes sweetheart there is. Baby B should be here.  And is forever in my heart and thoughts.  She still doesn't really know about everything, she's still too little to understand.  She knows our story but understanding and knowing are two very different things.  I read them the Donor books all the time.  They always ask for the baby bunny book "like mommy and daddy baby book!"  As they so sweetly ask.  Gosh these kids surprise me at every turn.  Their comprehension, their compassion and their ability to make sense of information and adapt it.  For example yesterday a stray cat wandered onto our property, trapped a mouse and was doing what cats do...torture and kill.  When I explained to the girls what had happened and that it was a cats nature, Lola stopped looked at me and said "So Mommy now the mouse is up in heaven with Maddie?"  I said "yes" she said "oh okay good, Maddie likes mice!"  My LOVE!  I just love watching them flourish and grow.  

Anyway..enough chatter.  Here are some current pictures.

Much Love!

Lucy at ballet!                                        

A day at Canada's Wonderland

ks & JD enjoying a Jay's game!  Go Jay's GO!!!!

July 12, 2016

Still Here, Still Unsure

I am still here.  I am still reading blogs.  I just seem to have very little time to actually write, edit and post anything of importance.  And really what do I have to say that is important...Lol!

I am currently in my last semester of school.  I have one more (possibly 2, I need to look into this) work term and then I should be done.  I say I need to look into this as they have changed my course and it is now coming up with 3 work terms required.  Which if that is the case...I might just skip the diploma, I've worked so hard for.  I say this because as I am a co-op student I incur less pay.  I don't know.  We'll see what the next few months bring.

I'm in 7 classes this semester.  And it is INSANE!  I definitely took on more than I should have.  I'm struggling to keep up.  Thankfully there is not an insane amount of programming or else I would never sleep.  I seem to have a ridiculous amount of gen ed assignments, so a ton of essays, research assignments, and excel presentations.  Blech!!!!   I do have one class that has me programming until 3-3:30 in the morning.  But I enjoy it and I need to keep practicing so that is great.

I had originally signed up to run my first full marathon in October.  And because my work load, JD working every weekend and the girl's schedules being insane, I'm struggling getting in my long runs. Time and the fact that I'm still working my way back after a bad blow up of hip bursitis.  I'm now thinking of dropping down to the half.  It's just too difficult as JD is trying to train at the same time, and it is always chose and pick who gets to go.  He never gets up early to get in his run.  He really doesn't consider anyone else's schedule, so I'm making allowances and sacrificing (as I did during ironman training) again.  He really irritates me somedays.  After 18 years together that is bound to happen.   I'm also trying to work in a little bikram yoga.  That too is proving very challenging.  We had a decent schedule going, well one we adjusted to (after 4 years) and I was able to go to Wednesday and Thursday 6 am (90 minute) yoga classes.  BUT now JD's schedule has changed and those are now out, and the evening classes are just a little too late for me to get too, since my spouse isn't home until 7 the only class options I have are 8 pm 90 minute classes that are 25 minutes away. CRAPTASTIC.

Time just never seems to be on my side.

Onto what I'm unsure of...

We are still on the fence about trying again.  Since the change to coverage for one IVF in Ontario we have really considered trying for one more (hopefully a little boy).  Here is where we go back and forth.  We'd love to try again.  We understand it will still cost us approx $10k (donor fees and meds) and it is hard on my body and my psyche.  But the desire is still very strong for me.  Not as strong for JD, but I ache for one more baby.  I really want to feel one kick again inside me, I want to hold one at my breast again and rock a baby all night...just one more time.  However, I'm 38 now and only just starting a new career.  We have zero savings left after our first 7 year battle and the economy the last few years, plus my being in school...  And what if it doesn't work?  And what if it does?  What if we are left with like 5 extra embryos?  We've always been no man left behind mentality, but lordy, I really only want one more.  And the rules in Ontario is to transfer only 1 at a time.  so we limit the risk of twins with a successful transfer, but lord what if it works and we have left over embryos? What then?  Do you see where I am?  I'm stuck in this indecisive circle.  I don't know what the right answer is.  I keep saying let's give it a year and see how we feel.  I think the next time I go to my GP, I'll ask for a referral to an RE and at least get the ball moving.  Get us on the list for a funded cycle.  I have already looked at donor agencies.  The wait for a funded cycle can exceed a year, so it doesn't hurt to get on the list...right?

I'm in class now so I guess I better start paying attention.

Much Love!


February 15, 2016

Adjustment to Working

The first month of working was fabulous!  I was so stoked to be out of the house again.  And not having homework keep me up until 3am in the morning!  It was a huge shift.  However...my school schedule allowed me to jam all my classes into 3 days.  Leaving me Monday to myself and Friday to have a free day with my hubby.  Monday's I always ran, then would eat and head into school and do work until it was time to pick up the girls.  BUT I was alone.  It was ME time.  Very important time for somebody with introvert tendancies.

My work day looks something like this:  I leave the house at 7, get home at 6, rush to get dinner on the table and then complete the bedtime routines, sometimes I sneak a run in,  the girls play with puzzles and I run.  JD has been a huge help.  He is home Wed, Thurs, and Friday evenings early enough that he picks up the girls and sometimes even throws together a dinner of sorts.  But I'm out of the house 5 days a week, and then the weekends I'm running with the girls to gymnastics and dance (on my own, JD works every weekend).  

Not helping matters my mood is severally effected with the cold dark Ontario winters.  Lucy is not adjusting to the changes as well as we would've liked. However, she has under gone a lot of changes all at once.  She's also 2 1/2 and at that very difficult, very independent stage making life a little challenging.  She has recently graduated out of the 'baby' room into the preschool room, she has potty trained, and her mommy is now out of the house everyday very early, meaning she is getting woken up very early.  So Lucy seems to be having the hardest adjustment right now.

I'm sure you can understand how the drama with my brother, the season, and now add working Mommy guilt to it and you see where I have been all week.  My mood was so low yesterday that I left work early (very early) went to the daycare and picked up Lucy before naps, took my peanut home to have a 2nd lunch with mommy, then had a nap together, and just enjoyed my baby.  I needed that!  And so did she!

This will get better.  I know it does.  It gets easier.  But I don't want to pretend that any of this is easy. It's tough.  It makes you cry.  And that's okay.  It happens to all of us.   There are times I think I'm not doing enough.  I should do this, that and the other with the girls.  But you know what?  Right now. I'm doing enough.  I'm doing what I can.  I'm doing what needs to be done to have a happy family. Because I do like working.  I like Lucy being in daycare.

Today is Family Day here in Ontario.  Today is the first time JD has had the day off to be with us all. This year this day was needed for us more than ever.  Today we will be lazy in the morning (I'll run), and this afternoon we are taking the girls skating.  I'll make a big dinner tonight.  We'll prep sides for lunches.  We will bask in our day together as a family.  And next week I will go in to work recharged.

Much Love!

February 8, 2016

Toxic Relationships / People

I've written 3 blog posts about this.  The drama that I am going to write about is an issue that has been present for a very long, LONG time.  Unfortunately things have gotten so out of hand that JD and I (well my entire family) has had to make one of the hardest decisions.  

My brother is an alcoholic.

He has been for many years.  Approximately 25 years.

The drinking started when his roommate and his best friend were killed.  He was supposed to have been with them, but thankfully was spared by a girlfriend who didn't want him to go out.  They were killed because of drunk driving.  This was the catalyst to my brother drowning his sorrows in Crown Royal.  We lived on the other side of the country at the time, and had no clue how bad the drinking became.  When my parents found out they promptly moved him to our province, and attempted to get him on the straight path.

For the next 25 years my parents turned a blind eye to the binge drinking.  And all the trouble he seemed to get into.  They bailed him out of trouble with the law (2x).  They bailed him out of housing issues (3x).  They bailed him out of a marriage, and 2 common law wives.  They enable him by loving him unconditionally and ensuring he never hits rock bottom.  

For the last 6 years JD and I have been very open about our feelings with the issue.  We've been very vocal about our belief that he needs help, and that they are not helping him.  We had enough when we were contacted during our cycle for Lola (in Washington) that B had had the police called on him 3x in 24 hours, and was falling down drunk throwing beer bottles at his neighbours garage at 3am!   This is NOT normal behaviour...  6 weeks later I was pregnant with Lola and baby b, when B decided to lose his mind on me, screaming and carrying on, this lasted most of the night...The following morning I had a massive bleed and 5 days later I lost B's heartbeat...  So yeah..there is some history with B and I.  

There is a LOT more to B's behaviour that has now brought it all to the front of everyone's mind.  He has burned bridges with our other brother T and his wife J.  He hadn't talked to them in 2 years.  They are fully in agreement that B needs rehab and mental help.  My parents however have continued to stay fast and support him.


3 weeks ago B started spiralling again.  I won't go into the dirty details.  But he has left no one in the family safe from his attacks.  He is in an extremely unhealthy relationship.  She is a wino, and extremely confrontational.  Unfortunately she is also extremely manipulative and controlling and has been on a mission for the last 2 years to separate my brother from his family. And it appears (to us at least) as though she is poisoning his mind whilst being his drinking buddy.  

B is spiralling so out of control that we are receiving drunk emails (he is now blocked via phone/text) at 5 am, 8 am and 10 am.  And you ask "How do we know he is drunk?"  Oh it is very clear.  They are incoherent.  And when the first 3 arrived, my other brother actually received a phone call at the same time and B could barely string a sentence together.  My father called him as well, and said there was ZERO question that B was extremely intoxicated.  Oh and did I tell you these are coming in on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings!!!  So yes he is drinking all night into the morning hours and then logging onto his work computer and 'working' remotely!  

How in the world he still has a job is beyond me.  

My fear...is that he is still driving.  He has never been adverse to driving drunk.  I've contacted some people to see if I can get him on a watch list of sorts, and I can NOT.  My hands are tied here unless I call it in when I SEE him driving drunk.  Pretty hard to do when you are 4 hours away.

I promised this was the short version, so I best get to where we are today.

As a family, we have decided to stop all contact with my brother until he seeks help.  Help meaning REHAB.  There is nothing we can do while he is in this relationship.  We refuse to be his punching bag.  My parents have agreed to stop bailing him out of trouble...and trouble is coming.  We are not going to respond to any more of his abusive emails.  All he/she wants is conflict and we are not going to be sucked in to their drama.  They are cancerous toxic people.  **some of the emails read as though she has written them...he refers to himself in the 4th (?) person...It's very strange**

I hate doing this to someone I love...  
I hate that it has gotten this bad...
I hate that he says such awful, hurtful, delusional things...
I hate that he has made our entire family cry, worry, and lose sleep over him...
I hate that we can not get him to see that he is sick...
I hate that we can not force him to get better...
I hate not being there for him...
And lastly...
I hate that this woman is so oblivious to the disastrous path they are walking.

If any of you have any advice about dealing with a family member with addiction and mental health issues, please let me know...if there is anything at all that we can do as a family.

Much Love!

December 21, 2015

My Family

What an awesome family I have.  These pictures are only a glimpse of the people who enrich my life.    I hope you enjoy a glimps into my year.  Merry Christmas .. Happy Holidays!
Much love
ks (Karen)

December 17, 2015

Thank you!

Thank you blogger friends!  You know those days where you reach your limit of cr@p!  Well I was there.  My stress and anxiety had been building for about a month, and with my implosion during my first exam, I crumbled.  

I most definitely do have test anxiety.  It is a very real thing.  I have meant to go to the Student Success centre after each series of testing and get myself a game plan on how to deal with this and overcome it, but it seems my schedule does not leave a ton of time for extra meetings.   The program I am in is extremely demanding.  It is an accelerated version of a University degree in Computer Science / Engineering.  And I am not a naturally gifted student (by any means).  I have to work very hard to retain/understand the material.  And honestly I haven't worked hard enough.   But I have 2 very little children and I should be allowed to sleep and spend a couple of hours here and there with them.  

My train wreck performance in exams has continued.  Not nearly as horrible, but I'm still not acing them.  Now let me just say that my teachers this semester are some of the hardest we've encountered (group consensus). But I'm trying to deal with the anxiety... I've taken many moments where I've shut my eyes, taken 5 deep breaths, and told myself that it's okay, that I can do this, etc...  And it has worked.  My prof last night let us get up and leave the room to get fresh air.  He also gave us extra time, so I wrote my exam for 4.5 hours.  When I submitted last night I made sure I wrote him note of thank you, expressing how valuable that was to me as I was able to keep my anxiety in check.  My prof has ADHD and suffers from test anxiety as well, so he is one that picked up on my issue after the midterm.  

Oh well...Just one more exam this afternoon, then tonight 2 assignments to complete and I'm done!  

And onto Miss Lucy.  Oh boy!  The terrible two's!  One of you commented that even though my first never did this, it is not unusual to have this behaviour happen.  And you are SO right!  This is very typical 2 year old behaviour.  And no Lola didn't do this.  BUT we had Lucy when Lola was two.  So Lola was busy competing for attention and loving on her new sister.  And well Lucy McGoosey has a very strong willed independent personality, and has since day 1.   I'm usually pretty good with handling her behaviour, but every now and again it just wears you down.  Especially since for the last 4-5 weeks I'm only really seeing them on Saturday and Sunday other than a 1/2 hour in the morning.  I'm at school so late that I miss bed time.  Lately it has been a lot of Daddy time and Nana picks them up Tuesday nights, so really I'm not around a lot lately.  And THIS might explain why her nose is so out of joint with me...maybe..?   But we Skype as much as possible when I'm stuck at school.  I'm really trying...  

Onto the health issues I've had all year.  My ribs...are finally healed!  Oh my GAWD!  That took forever.  I was re-fracturing them every time I ran.  4 weeks before vegas I ran 9 miles and had the crackling start again in one rib, so I took the week off, then I got a sinus infection / flu and was knocked down for 3 weeks.  Well I didn't run.  Then it's time for the Vegas trip which we were going because we had signed up to run the Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon.  I had no idea how I was going to do it with 4 weeks off from running.  But I approached it with a whatever attitude.  I would run as long as I could (easy pace) and if we walked it we walked it?!  I mean we couldn't expect much considering we had been drinking for 3 days straight before hand.  And dang nammit I ran the whole dang thing.  Not a great time (my slowest ever by 16 minutes) but the weather was awful and it was a night run which always gives me a slower pace.  So ribs healed!  Hopefully not ever going to fracture them again (likelihood is high it will happen again).  

Now the kidneys...ARGH!  This is not going to go away.  It is a birth defect that once issues begin the pain becomes an increasingly present issue.  I have discovered how to try to elevate some though without narcotics.  WATER WATER WATER!!!  I MUST drink minimum 3 litres of water a day to flush the kidneys, if I run I need to add at minimum 1 litre more.  Avoid pops, teas, coffee, etc...  Anything that has the possibility to dehydrate.  There is one other issue that I still haven't dealt with.  There is like a cloak of crystallization on the exterior of the kidney, but inside the shell around the kidney, that the Urologist is confused by.  It's not stones, it's like a wallpaper of crystals.  He believes it is a metabolic disorder.  And I need to do a 24 hour urine sample.  The sample takes a month to get back to him (testing).  And with my schedule...I think you can see why I have failed to complete this test.  As a matter of fact I have't even gone to the lab yet to get the jug.  Yup!  Need to get on top of that.  But I definitely need to be home for 24 hours to do the test and that just isn't happening at the moment.  The pain with the kidneys is okay.  It's more of a tenderness now when I wake up.  But I pound 1 ltr of water while I do my hair and that seems to make it better.  I still feel my left kidney when I sleep (feels like a golfball in my flank) but I think that could be a little bit of damage left over from stone-agedon!  Lol!

If your still reading this novel...thanks for staying with me!  
Again I truly appreciate your words the other day.  
I miss this space and finding the time to write out what's happening in my day to day.  Hopefully with working I'll be on a better schedule where I can fit blogging back into my life.

Much Love!

December 15, 2015

Failing at Life... (WARNING language)

You're going to see the side of me I hide.  The real side of me.  I have no self confidence in my abilities.  Sorry correction in myself period...

Some days you just feel like a complete and utter failure in everything that you do.  I'm there.

This is my hardest week at school.  EXAMS..
Oh and have I told you all that I absolutely suck sh!t at test writing.  I have gone into a final with an 80 and come out with a 51!  I'm EPIC!!!

Well...I've just gone and done it again.  FUCK!

And everyone in my course is laughing and joking about how easy this exam was.  And I blew it.  Of course I'm out of it now and I have found the example I couldn't find during it.  FUCK!
< I'm hanging my head in total shame >
< tears are starting to fall >

I try so hard all semester.  I had some set backs this semester though.  I was very sick during mid terms and blew those apart.  But I picked up my grades with many 100% on assignments.  We had a trip to Vegas right smack in the last month, terrible timing!  Of course this exam (I just blew) was based on everything we learned in that one class...  Seriously out of 14 weeks she had to select week 8 to pull the entire exam from!  FML!

Well since I'm here bitching and moaning I might as well tell you where else I suck.

Lucy...  :(

Ok my daughter hates me.  She's always telling me "No Mommy, mean Mommy!'  Last night she smacked me while I was trying to blow dry her hair.  This morning dropping her off at daycare she wouldn't even say bye to me.  No love you Mommy, no kiss and hug...Nope nothing.

And this isn't just today...
Unfortunately this has been going on for awhile.
I know she's 2.  I tell myself that all the time.  I know she's super independent.  I also remind myself of that.  And yes she does do it to Daddy every now and again.  But it is ALWAYS Mommy that is mean, or robbed of kisses, or no hugs at bed, or getting slapped.

To say this doesn't break my heart would be a lie.

I just feel like I'm failing every which way I turn.

Even my running is taking a massive hit with school, JD's terrible hours, and no free time EVER!

Argh!  It'll get better....I'm just repeating it to myself...Do I believe this...Nope!

On the plus I have landed a co-op for January.
But I'm terrified I will fail at this also.

I've written this all out and no one is probably going to read it, as I have also failed and being a consistent blogger.

Whatever...I'm going to go for a ciggy and a cry.

Much Love (to whoever still bothers to read)

October 8, 2015

Game Changer

With the news of the new IVF coverage here in Ontario, the impossible has now become the possible.  


JD and I had resigned ourselves to the fact that we were done having babies.  We both had always wanted 3 children.  And after having 2 girls...trying for a little boy would have been fabulous.  However the cost of doing a new DE IVF cycle was just not going to happen.  

With the change to OHIP, and them now covering 1 IVF cycle for anyone with a diagnosis of infertility.  We might actually be able to get 1 more cycle off the ground.  We would still have to find the money for the medications and to compensate the donor...Oh and we would have to find a donor...BUT the IVF cycle itself would be covered ($14,000).  So the cost just went to maybe $8,000.  Big difference!

Now mind you I am currently in school and set to graduate this year.  And I would like to get working and make some money again.  I haven't had a paycheque or my own money in over a decade!  I know crazy right...It just sort of happened.   JD used to give me a paycheque but then he stopped as he found a different way to claim to pay me that would cost us less in taxes (also meaning I made less on mat leave), then he just stopped paying me completely... So I miss feeling independent.  And I'm dying to not feel guilty about buying myself something.  

I predict that we will do nothing about getting a cycle going for at least a year.  But I think once I pass the probation on a job, I'll get the ball rolling again and get a referral back to a fertility clinic.  Start the search for a local donor...(argh!  a whole new DE post coming on this), contact a lawyer to draft the contracts, and get it all going....Maybe...


We will continue with what we were already planning.  We are going to get a home study done this year.  And get on the list for a domestic adoption.  If it looks like a placement isn't going to happen before I am 40, we will then look into foster to adopt a pre-teen.  

I guess I was wrong when I changed my description of this blog.  We are still trying to build our family.  It just goes to show you that you never know what is around each corner.  And my heart wants what my heart wants.  I have a lot of love to give.  And my girls make my world a much better place.  I want more children.

Lots of Love to you all my Blog Friends!
And if any of you are also Canadian ...  Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you are surrounded with those that lift you up and love you unconditionally.

All my best wishes!

October 2, 2015

IVF Coverage in Ontario Canada!

We are so over the moon excited with the announcement yesterday.

We were at the press conference.

We marched onto Parliament on Mother's Day oh so many years ago in hopes of this very thing happening.  And it has finally come to be!  

I have a long post coming.  A coming out, post of sorts.  

It is long...

I am emotionally exhausted from what has been going on.  I took a leap of faith and agreed to be a part of the media team pushing for this coverage.  There may be interviews, there may not be.  But just saying yes...was such a big thing for me.  Exposing my vulnerability.  Sharing the one thing in my life that affected me so deeply...  To this day I can not speak of my diagnosis with out crying... And discussing it openly with the free world is a scary prospect for me.  But if we can help one couple, or just let them know they are not alone, then it was worth it.  

So please be kind world...  My children are a gift from God.  They were created with love.  They were loved before they were here.  They were hard fought for.  And I will never be embarrassed about what we went through to make them.  

I believe every couple should have a chance to become parents.  Whether it be artificial reproductive technology or adoption.  And I believe that there should be more support for families that are created in an these ways because of a medical condition.  Gay, straight, married, single, rich, or poor we just need a chance.  A chance to hope!

Much love!



August 9, 2015

2 & 4 Years Old

I can't believe that my girls are 2 and 4!?!?  The time is just flying by.  I thought it was time I should update on my girls and how they are doing.  First I'll start with the baby, Lucy.


Lucy is incredible!  For the first 14 months of her life, she was just a miserable baby.  I'm not going to sugar coat it.  Lucy was super challenging.  Poor thing.  She as obviously so uncomfortable with the acid reflux, and she had a horrible time teething.  This just made her a very miserable baby. There were days where I cried thinking I had made a horrible mistake, and that this child was just going to be miserable for the rest of her life...(my brother is a miserable man and was a miserable child)  I had no idea how to help her or to try to make her happy and comfortable.  It was SO challenging.  BUT... something changed, almost overnight, this personality just blossomed.  She became a lot more verbal and she developed this insanely cute sense of humour.  And lately the only time we see Lucifer is when she is overtired or cutting a molar.  

She really is quite a comedian.  She was a little slower with her vocabulary than Lola, but Lola was quite ahead verbally, so we were not concerned.  And now at the age of 2 we really had nothing to worry about.  This kid picks up songs on her own (with the right tune), uses words she shouldn't in the right context, and has mastered sarcasm already!  She likes to say "shocker" and "okay Captain Obvious" all at the right moments!  She also tells us a lot "I'm funny!"  And she's right!  She really is!  Her new favourite thing is "Mommy Look!" and then she does a leg out pose!  We hear it 1000 times a day..."Daddy Look, Mommy Look!"

Lucy is very much a girlie girl.  She likes to wear tutu's daily (skirts and dresses, or if we let her a real tutu).  She is insistent to wear panties...We've made half hearted attempts at potty training.  We've had zero success, but we've also only had 2 accidents (right beside the potty).  I plan on buckling down on it in the next 2 weeks.  Lucy is still in her crib as she is a wild sleeper.  She will be starting dance and gymnastics in 3 weeks.  She dances like a maniac already, her favourite songs though seem to be from hair nation!  Lol!  (where as Lola's fave song is Cheerleader!)

Lucy is a surprising wonderful funny smart little girl.  We feel so blessed to have this little trouble maker in our lives.  I know that the principal is going to have my number on speed dial when she enters school, but the great thing is I know she will not be a sheep, she will be the leader leading all the other kids into trouble!  And you know what?  I can't wait to see how she grows and develops!  She's very much a different child from Lola and oh boy I love her for it!  


Lola...My sweet angel!  She is the most compassionate little sweetheart!  Her kindness just melts my heart.  Don't misjudge her pretty little face and sweet demeanour though, there can be a little devilish attitude there as well.  We've had quite a bit of attitude coming from her lately.  We've hit the jealousy age.  It's especially bad since Lucy's personality is really showing.  We get caught saying how funny Lucy is, which in turn makes Lola jealous.  It's a challenge.  

Health wise Lola is doing very well.  She is in the 75% for height, and the 25% for weight.  Both of my girls are skinny little things.  And it is definitely not from lack of eating.  They just have so much energy and never stop moving.  Lola actually runs the block at least once a day.  She is in love with running.  I think it has to do with going to Mommy and Daddy's races.  She has a little six pack tummy and these little pipes for arms!  She too will be doing gymnastics again this fall.  And she will be dancing.  However, Lola was asked to join the competitive team for dance.  So she will be doing a lot longer classes of both, gymnastics and dance.  We've had a few months off from gymnastics, but I don't think she has forgotten anything as she likes to practice all the time.  

Lola will be starting all day junior kindergarten in September.  We are pretty excited about this.  Her social interaction has been limited to 2-3 children at one time.  And for most of the time 1 or 2 of those children were special needs.  So it'll be very interesting to see her in a social setting where her peers are all in the same age group.  I'm sure there will be some children there similar to one of the special needs children she socialized with, and I think this will help her flourish.  She really loves caring for those that are little or need a little help.  She really has this heart that is just incredible.  

I don't want to guess at what her life will bring, but I tell you this child has the heart of a nurse or teacher.  She is just so patient and empathetic.  She was amazing with her little friend who was very autistic (non verbal, twice her size, same age).  She made sure this little guy always got his father's day/ mother's day cards coloured right and completed, and she always had him smiling the whole time she helped him.

We just feel so blessed.  We really won the lottery with these two girls.  It's an amazing privilege getting to be their mom and watch them grow and flourish.  I think we are doing a pretty good job with them.  I hope we are setting the examples for them to be successful in life.  Oh god do I hope! You always fear if your doing the right by them.  And we try to hide our stress as much a possible from them...(as there seems to be a lot of stress right now).   For now I'm taking their happiness and good attitudes as though we are doing a good job!

Much Love!