December 6, 2016

Mommy Secrets

Do you want me to share a little secret with you?
You do!
You know those mom's you think have it all together.  Their hair is always done, makeup on, clothes on point, kids are clean, hair done, lunches packed, homemade dinners, clean houses, they work out, and they work full time...?
Oh you do!  You hate them!  Yeah me too...'s the secret.
I'm one of them.
And the bigger secret...
I feel like a failure and I seriously cry in my car ALL the time!

I seem to have little breakdowns every now and again.  Where everything just becomes too much!  I fall into a funk.  I'm an emotional person, some might say passionate.  And I tend to throw everything into everything I do.  Here's the issue...  I'm not able to push as hard as I have in the past.  I run myself out, and then I get sick either with a migraine or my kidney issues flair up.  And then I feel awful guilt.  Guilt as a mom because I feel like I should be doing more with my kids, and I work such long days, that I miss a lot of things.  

And because of the long working days I tend to run like a crazy person every weekend.  By the time Monday is here I'm burned out already and the week hasn't started.  

All of this to say...Hey Moms, you are NOT alone.  And when you get low, reach out to your other mom friends.  Meet up, even if it is just for a coffee.  You never know they might actually need it more than you.  

I reached out 2 weeks ago to my neighbour.  We went for drinks and appetizers last week.  She needed it.  She is having awful anxiety attacks.  She actually was at the point where she reached out at work for counselling.   I'm so glad that she feels comfortable talking with me about it.  I hope she found some comfort talking about it, and was not embarrassed after the fact.  I know that's usually how I am when I open up to people, I replay it all in my mind and question "should I have said anything...".  The advise that the counselor gave her sounds pretty bang on to me.  And I'm so proud of her for stepping out of her comfort zone and actually attempting a couple of things that the counsellor suggested.

I have a pretty good idea where my anxiety is stemming from.  I'm over medicated on my thyroid medication.  And my life seems to be in a constant shit show of stress.  I'm hanging in there, but just barely.  And I feel like talking about it is just me complaining about it.  

More to come!
Much Love!


S said...

Oh bless you! The guilt that comes with motherhood is awful, isn't it?

I am nowhere near that mom who has it all together, though I do work full-time in a professional job and keep things reasonably under control. I wear makeup about 4-5 times a year; my sons dress themselves; and I forgot a lot of (small) things.

But all I can do is what I can do. My sons are healthy and happy, and I am still gainfully employed and married, so that has to be enough. :-)

Jos said...

I just started therapy because I am clearly NOT holding it together anymore. Ugh. We are all in this together!