Today is my last day pregnant. Ever... Single tear...
Tomorrow I go in for an induction. We had false labor a week ago that lasted almost a full 24 hours with no movement to the cervix. And considering I had borderline PAPP-A with this pregnancy, my Dr thinks it's just better to get her out now instead of risking her and I and continuing on another 2 weeks. I am happy about this decision as I am so sore and uncomfortable. My hip, knees and back are killing me.
Initially I thought I would have liked to have gone naturally, but with a toddler to think about having a plan is just so much easier and less stressful. While I am sad that this is it, I am really looking forward to being able to bend over again.
Here's some honesty coming at you....
I'm so scared about everything. I'm worried about LolaBean and how she is going to react to having to share her Mommy. I'm worried about finances. I'm worried that I'm not going to be good enough. I'm worried that cupcake isn't going to be ready for the outside world. I've had a few sleepless nights to say the least. And that stinks as I know I have a lot more ahead of me.
Okay now onto better thoughts.
This pregnancy has been so much easier than Lola's. I feel so much better. I've just now hit my starting weight with Lola! But I have gained 36 lbs.! Yowza! I am going to have to run a lot. And unfortunately the running stroller I wanted is not happening so it looks like I will be running at about 430am in the morning before JD goes to work. Argh! This is going to be tough. But I can do it. I want to run a marathon next summer, so training is beginning in August!
I have no new stretch marks. And the ones I have are on my thighs. (post pregnancy with Lola) So I am very lucky there. My cravings this pregnancy were almost the same as with Lola's. Burgers and Fries. Everyday! But I curbed it as much as I could and tried to get veggies in. Lol! But sometimes cake won over veggies! LMFAO! Oh well! This is the last time I will ever be pregnant so I allowed myself to indulge. I am very sad that this is it. But with financing and my age we just can't even think about doing another cycle. And like you all know Cupcake was our last embryo from our donor. She was our last Chance. What a fighter my girls are. Little miracles the two of them. I just pray that everything goes well tomorrow and that Miss Cupcake is healthy.
An update to come on Monday. And I'm pretty sure it will be loaded with pictures.