October 16, 2012

Hurdles

So here it is...we are 6 days away from the big thaw...I'm freaking out...

We finally cleared up all the family drama yesterday.  I do expect a little more to come in the following days. But I've already made back up arrangements for Lola, so I'm not going to stress about it.  And it's JD's family so I'm staying out of it.  He knows all to well how I feel, I don't need to remind him.  

Tomorrow I have my u/s and b/w to see if everything is thickening up as it should be.  If that is okay, I will start PIO's Thursday morning.  Eeeek!!!  I started my antibiotic on Monday as I wanted to be finished it on the day of the transfer.  I'm so ridiculously nervous about all of this...

There are still so many more hurdles to get over yet.  

  • lining and estrogen at the right levels.
  • Lola's sitters in place. (that's the drama)
  • Frostie surviving the Thaw
  • Transfer
  • Pregnancy Test...duh duh DUHHHHH!!!
God I just want to make it to transfer right now.  I can't even focus on the possibility of a pregnancy test at this moment.  I just keep reminding myself one breath at a time.  Pace it out like I would a run.  One mile at a time, one hurdle at a time.  Deep breaths...In...Out...

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Even though I am Canadian I observed yesterday's Pregnancy / Infant Loss Awareness Day.  I lit two candles at dinner and had them burning all night.  I placed suk suk's in front of each in memory of all of our babies.  I cried about our loss'.  I mourned Baby B.  

I snuggled my baby girl last night before bed.  I breathed in her sweet smell.  I whispered in her ear how much we love her.  I cherished my blessings last night.  

Much Love!

ks

3 comments:

LisainSK said...

Hugs KS...I think about what could have been every now and then too about our two little ones we lost. Hope you find comfort in knowing you have a friend who knows what you've been through. I like the analogy of your upcoming FET like a run...one breath, one pace at a time. You can do this...will be thinking of you on Sunday and sending my "sticky" thoughts your way.

Michelle D said...

Best of luck and super sticky thoughts for you guys. I hope everything goes smoothly so you can relax :)

Cam said...

Hang in there hun...am thinking of you and hoping all goes well! It is always hard to trust as an IF but you know miracles can happen!!! Look at precious Lola xxx