December 22, 2009

Delayed Again...Frustrated Rant...

Originally my FET was scheduled for about Jan 8, 2010.  Well it's now looking more like the last week in January.  I'm on day 32 and no AF in sight.  I had and u/s this morning.  My lining is 7.5 and I have 4 follies in the 16-20 range.  Sorry, correction they were follicles until the shot 2 weeks ago, now they are cysts.  WTF is with my body.  I'm so down today with all of this shit.  I can't get my period when it's convenient, nope I like 37 - 52 day cycles.  I can't make follies unless I've been injected with shit to kill them.  And all of a sudden my body wants to make it's own decent lining!  Really! 

I'm trying very hard not to get frustrated with all of this.  But some days, I just want to pull out my hair!  Today is a hair pulling day.  I'm ticked off my body never co-operates, no matter what I do.  I'm ticked of the clinic in Toronto hasn't called us to arrange the referral consult.  I'm ticked off I've done nothing but play phone tag with the SG International Liason.  I just feel like I'm on a stationary bike pedaling as fast as fuck and getting no where!

And I just thought of something that made me sick to my stomach....

What if I never get to be a mom!?

3 comments:

Brenda said...

No, no! Deep breath... I KNOW it is frustrating as hell, but you will be a Mom someday. You have the will, and you will find the way. Really, anyone as committed to being a mother as us infertiles are, we work it out somehow.

Hair pulling, you may do. Ranting and raving? It goes with the territory. But abject terror? Not now, not yet.

A thousand calming hugs to you...
Brenda

MAJ Bryen said...

Can they give you some provera to bring AF on? It takes about 5-7 days or so for it to work for AF. SG basically closes down for the holidays until after the new year. I'm not sure if you are aware of that but it would nice if they told you up front.

Huge HUGS to you.

Tiffany said...

That is so frustrating, but just remember when you get that "sick to your stomach, nothing ever goes right feeling" to take a deep breath and remember that you will be a Mom and things just have a way of taking their sweet time.