Sometimes doing the right thing...can just wear you the F out!
I've been taking care of my mom for 2 weeks out of the last 3. During this time, I've also been taking care of Lola (of course), dealing with her and I being sick, and pretty much doing it on my own. I've been every one's chef, laundress, gardener, maid, book keeper, physio therapist, and butler...and dang it I'm worn out!
I love my Mom dearly and would do anything for her. What makes me mad through all of this though is that neither one of my brothers can even pick up a damn phone and see how she is doing when she is with me. Or to even check on me and my sanity for crying out loud!
During all of this Lola has started walking. And she is into everything now. My mom can't pick her up, so I'm constantly chasing her around as I'm doing all the necessary things that need to be done. So lately my health and well being has taken a back seat. I haven't been to the gym in over a week, I haven't run in over 3 weeks (physio), my bike is gathering dust, and the weather is quickly changing on me.
I did manage to make a couple of important phone calls about our upcoming cycle and I will get into that in another post. What I'm frustrated about though is just life in general... Well being a boss.. Running our own business... Never having family time... Always feeling like a single parent... Being alone even on the weekends and holidays... Fighting with my hubby to try to make plans to see my family.. Being stressed about the lack of money coming into the business... Y'know EVERYTHING!!!
We are having some staff issues at the moment that I really don't want to get into. But it is causing some strain. And I've gotten to my breaking point with this business that we are in. I've tried to talk to JD about it for over 3 years now, and he's done nothing about it... Now it's built up to the point of resentment. So I'm struggling with my feelings on a daily basis. But I keep doing the RIGHT thing... I keep coming in, doing my work, his work, I go home, wash dishes, prep meals, clean floors, poo pick, cut the grass, wash the clothes, and hopefully go to the gym. Because why? It's the RIGHT thing to do!!!
You ever have one of those weeks? Where just everything gets to be a bit too much. And throw dealing with this IF crap into the mix again, and you've got where I'm at. I'm going out this weekend though for a Ladies Night. That should be good. I hope...
Stay Tuned...Another post has been written about our upcoming cycle...I'll blast you with that on Thursday!
Much Love!
ks
2 comments:
Lately it seems like most of my weeks are similar to what you describe: too many things to do, and not enough time to do them. Between working 50+ hours a week as a lawyer (with over an hour of commuting each day), caring for my 7-month-old twin sons, and trying to do everything else life requires (meals, groceries, laundry, etc.). . .yeah, it can feel like too much sometimes. (And I'm not even actively dealing with IF--no more TTC for us--or trying to fit in exercise.)
I hope things improve for you soon. They will. Change is inevitable, and welcome when things are tough.
I am so sorry you are having to do all of this. The easy thing to say is "Take care of yourself or you can't take care of others" or "Make sure you take time for yourself first." But let's be honest...when you are a mom, a daughter, a wife, a caring human being...you suck it up an do the RIGHT thing no matter what. No canned "feel better" statement will fix what you are going through, but I know from experience that it will get better...at least a little better...eventually. And when there is the lull in the storm, make sure you get some time for you, to relax, or vent, or blog your heart out. In the meantime, I'm always here to listen. (P.S. Have fun on ladies' night!)
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