It was a good trip. Clinic is really nice. Everyone was great. 'Dr. Bob' confirmed the tubes should go. They aren't doing me any good, they aren't going to get any better, they may get worse. So I do feel better about my decision. We have to do a mock drug cycle, and if that goes well we will be accepted (fingers crossed) into the all inclusive shared risk program. You're probably wondering where the wait game comes in...? Enter now... We can't do the mock cycle until the tubes are out. My hormone levels may change after the surgery. So now everything is on hold again while I wait for the surgeon to book me in. I called this morning to ask about a surgery date and was told very briskley "they would call me when they had a date." In other words fuck off we'll get to you when we feel like it!
Don't misread my upcoming rant... I love that we have health care. And that most common procedures are covered. But I hate, hate, hate the waiting game!!! This waiting game and protocol crap is what left me in this position in the first gosh darn place.
I know that one of my lessons in this life is patience. I am a hyper personality, and have very little patience when it comes to a lot of things. But I think through out this journey I have been extremely patient. I haven't snapped on any scheduling nurses, I rarley call to try to speed things up, I sit and stew and wait my turn. Well I'm tired of being on the bench. I want to move forward. I'm tired of watching all the others in the same situation, find a clinic, find an agency, choose a donor, do the mock, do the cycle, and move forward. Regardless of success...even though we all want success... Right now though I just want to be able to cycle, with no delays.
With 12 months of testing, waiting and cancellations with my own eggs. And 10 months to complete 1 donor egg cycle (only transferring 2x), I think I've learned the lesson of patience. I guess my other lesson to learn in this life is strength; to keep fighting, to keep waiting, to keep hoping and most of all to keep my faith.