To try to work off some of our aggression JD and I have been hitting the gym pretty hard. We've wanted to try a spin class for awhile, and last night we were home in time to make it. Yahh! Off we go to the gym, we were there 15 min early so we got our bikes set and started peddling slowly to get ready. Okay 15 min in...a little puke came up... Yup spin class is a killer! But we kept going... 30 min in, the instructor has us standing up and sitting down every 2 counts. No problem...okay small problem... I have no idea how but I pinched the skin on my upper leg. I let out a little yelp, but I kept going. It felt like my ass/chooch was on fire!!! I kept looking down to see if there was blood pooling under me, because it was hurting so bad I thought maybe I sliced my leg open. Nope no blood!
The class ends. We made it thru! Soaking wet with sweat, tired and hungry we head home. Off to the bath I go, JD to the shower. I make dinner, we sit and eat...I hurt...and I'm still sweating! LOL! Every time I get off the couch I'm wincing. I finally go to the bathroom to see what I have done... Look in the mirror, I see nothing. Bend over and look at my inner thigh! OMG! There is a baseball size bruise the colour of night! Jeepers creepers did I ever pinch myself on the bike. So ladies the moral of this story... If you're a little chubby in the bum and thighs be very careful at spin class... You really don't want to pinch your ass on that seat! Trust me!!!
I guess it's good that we are going and doing it though, as last night we actually smiled and laughed. Of course at the expense on my fat bum, but we were laughing none the less!
Sorry for the pity party yesterday. Everyday is different right now. Coming off all the hormones, and the failure. I'm not going to be myself for awhile. But we will survive. We've survived 5 years of infertility hell already. Yes everyone, I have done acupuncture, so much so that I personally financed her new shop! I've done DHEA, wheatgrass, organic, no dairy, no red meat, tons of folic acid, greens plus, you name it I've tried it. My eggs are shit! I am starting to have menopausal symptoms...with an FSH of 72 are you surprised! I'm not! I can't do IUI or timed intercourse. I have blocked tubes, and a clubbed ovary. Trust me we have looked at all options of ttc before finally making the move to DE in May. I know you are all trying to be helpful and supportive and I totally appreciate it, I really do. But after 5 years...there is really not a lot we haven't tried.
JD and I talked yesterday, and we are going to do our FET in January. Neither one of us is expecting the embryos to thaw. We are trying to arrange an appointment with another clinic here locally that has a great reputation, and my RE does work with them as well. We aren't going to wait until after the FET to start arranging everything for a new cycle, we are going to get it started sooner rather than later as it can take 4-6 months to get organized. We are going to do something with our finances I really hoped we wouldn't have to do. But our situation is what it is. And we are not ready to give up just yet. We both really want one more cycle with a different donor, with a clinic that stimulates the shit out of their donors! So this is where we are today... We'll see what tomorrow brings. Much love to anyone who reads my ramblings!
ks
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