May 19, 2009


I'm done all my medications now, other than Dexamethasone, so now we wait for my cycle to begin... I've been off everything now since May 16th, the RE had said anywhere from 2 - 12 days! So we wait... I really feel nothing at this point. I don't feel hopeful or hopeless. I mean don't get me wrong I would love it if my body would all of a sudden become normal, but that's just not realistic. And with the amount of let downs in the last year, I've learned not to get my hopes up...because they always seem to get shattered.

I haven't been feeling that great since Sunday actually. I think it has to do with the no more estrogen... I've been really nauseous... I actually was sick 2x, once on Sunday morning and once yesterday. Both times it was over an hour after I ate. Poor JD, he's like oh maybe we finally hit the golden egg...! I said no honey I'm sorry but the pills they've had me on this month is like a diluted form of birth control. There really is no way. I watched his face fall. That's what sucks the most! Is that I'm not in this alone, even though it's my body that is fucking up our dream! My god this sucks! I just wish I could fix it! Make it all better! Erase the last 2 years! But no! Urrrrggghhh!

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