Needing a BabySitter

Or a Nanna that actually wants to be involved.  I've been locked in this house for 5 months now and I'm going stir crazy.  I hate that my parents are gone for the winter, and I hate that when they are home I live 4 1/2 hours away from them.  JD's parents only want to be involved when we are around and when they haven't seen them in a month....did I mention they only live a 1/2 hour away.  And when you live in Toronto a 1/2 hour away is like around the block!  

I don't understand why they don't want to be involved with our girls.  It hurts.  My SIL has twin boys age 6 and has never paid for daycare or a babysitter.  And her and her husband go out every weekend just like they did before the kids.  My mother in law gets them off the bus and gets them fed after school, sometimes even putting them on the bus in the morning.  And then they babysit at least one night per weekend.  Argh!  

And here we are stuck in a position where we really can't have our regular babysitter sit for us as Lucy is still too little for a teenager.  And no grand parents that want to give us a break.  It really sucks my parents are gone.  Lola has such a good connection with my parents...Thank God for that!  It just makes me sad that they won't have girl day out with grandma or go out for lunch with Grandpa because they are too far away and their paternal grandparents are too busy with their other grand kids.

I am going out though on Monday night for a girl's dinner...I'm actually not really looking forward to it.  One of the girls in the group and I had a falling out.  We were actually really close.  I've tried to write about this 3 times now and each time I have deleted the post.  It was a complete mess.  We had the same sitter.  My sitter bitched and moaned about my friend to me for months.  My friend wanted her child fed only organic foods and very limited snacking.  This 2 year old is the size of a 4 year old and wants to eat all the time.  We pay $30 per day and that includes food and there are 4 kids there.  My sitter never agreed to organic, this was something my friend changed her mind on as time went on...  And whenever my friend bitched to me about it I would tell her well then pack your food, like I do!  Anyway, it all got a bit too much for our sitter and she got into a fight with my friend and told her not to bring her kid back.  For some reason though my sitter threw me under the bus and brought my name into the fight.  This went back and forth for 3 days.  

I apologized to my friend repeatedly for her feelings being hurt, but I hadn't said anything behind her back and I told her I really didn't want to be dragged into it.  I also told my sitter to leave me out of it.  So I texted my friend 2 days after it all happened and I got a response like 2 days later that said good thanks!  Really?  So I let another couple of days go by and then I text her again...Again she responds 3 days later with ... better thnx...  Really?!?!?!   So I've quit reaching out.  She knew we were in the process of closing one of our stores and we were going through some major changes ourselves, but she doesn't care to check in with me at all...  And she has told our group of friends that I was stabbing her in the back with my sitter, blah, blah, blah...  So now no one is texting me.  Every one seems to have taken her side in this.  When I did nothing wrong.  But I can not skip this dinner I have to go to save face.  If I don't go they are all going to gossip behind my back and I will for surely lose all of them as friends...which at this point I could care less.  Did I forget to mention that there were some very unkind things said behind my back as well by both the sitter and the friend....!!!!  

So yeah...I have had a rough month!