March 25, 2011

Got Milk?

Apparently I do!  I thought it was just one of those freak things, or maybe my imagination, but a couple of weeks ago I thought one of my (.)(.) leaked.  Then it happened again Tuesday morning, and I thought maybe I didn't dry myself off enough, until I got home and took off my bra and found it caked to my tata!  Again I kind of shrugged it off, but nope!  Yesterday morning I pulled a new clean, cake less, bra out of the dryer and sported that for most of the day.  Sure enough at around 7pm I'm changing into my pj's and again clean bra is stuck to my tata. 

I know it can happen, but I'm a little worried that my body is getting ready a little bit too early.  So my nerves are high and I am a bit cranky from worry.  On top of that I feel horrible about myself right now.  I had worked so hard to lose the weight my stupid thyroid disease and fertility drugs piled on me, and now with being on limited duties all the weight has flooded back on.  I know a lot of it is baby weight, but my body also likes to pile it on to my hips, @ss and thighs.  So I feel super unattractive right now.

Well JD loves the gym.   And that's fine with me really.  (Okay not really because I can't go)  But he works until 7 most nights and then goes to the gym until 9 or 10 at night.  Well anyway I'm not going to get into it, but let's just say I'm not a very happy person right now.  And we fought until 1130 last night.  And today I'm still....  It's not even that I'm mad at him really.  I'm just feel so unattractive, and unwanted, and I'm terrified that I will never get my body back to where I once was.   My mom is seriously over weight with no thyroid issues, so I know how easy it can happen without anything hindering you.  What's going to happen to me???

Okay enough!  Back to work!  I'm sure I'll snap out of this soon.  I may be a bit hormonal lately.  Gee you think, since I'm leaking milk!?!?


Michelle D said...

I wouldn't worry about the milk being too early. I was also "leaking" fairly early and still went to the end ;) Sorry about the unattractive feelings...I think every pregnant lady gets that way. You will get back in the swing once your sweetie is here :)

Krystle said...

If anything, leaky boobs are probably a good sign. I had nothing, either pregnancy & I couldn't BF either. Even with a hospital grade machine, NOTHING came out. This time, my milk finally came in a little bit on day 5!
Also, chances are you are going to look different. Between both pregnancies i'm 20 pounds over what I started stomach is gross but you learn to love your new body. Your new body is what will bring you your hearts desire.
Some women bounce right back and look great, but not me!

Anonymous said...

Hey ks...I've read that the milk thing can happen this early too. And sorry you are feeling so unnattractive...we are our own worst enemies and pile on some hormones and that hardly helps. Hope you and DH can make up soon. Cheer're almost at the finish line when we can have our bodies back AND our babies in arms!!

Brenda said...

I've heard from others as well that milk can come early with no effect on the pg. And sorry that you are in a negative space. Wouldn't we all love to be svelt both before/during/and after pregnancy!! But as Krystle said, your new body will bring you what your heard desires :) I think that is a lovely and true sentiment.

Oh, and you can always ask jd if he still finds you attractive. I know I asked my DH, and got very positive results (I guess I should have if he knew what was good for him!!) Anyway, it made me feel better to hear it from him :) Hope you feel better soon.