Why can't this just work out? Have we not paid our dues? Have we not struggled enough? Apparently not. As you can tell I am angry about the loss of Bebe B. And I'm terrified that Bebe A is following B's same path. Here is what we found out last Thursday...
Apparently Bebe B's heart stopped at approximately 6wk5dys from what I could tell of the scan. Bebe b was still there but with no heart beat. The SCH is quite a bit larger than everyone thought and it is smack in between the 2 sacs. It is almost as large as Bebe A's sac. Bebe A was measuring 7wks 3 dys which is right on track. My u/s tech tried to reassure us that Bebe A looks good, nice and strong. I didn't get the heart rate which I now regret. But I don't think it would have helped me feel any better anyways.
But how am I supposed to stop DBT's when we've already lost one. I've been on pretty strict bed rest since Thursday, as I am still spotting. Nothing fresh but there is always a brown discharge. This just sucks! If this is going to end just let it end. This agony of losing one at a time and the bleeding is horrible. I almost wish this cycle had just been a failure instead of all of this crap. Since losing Bebe b a lot of my pregnancy symptoms have disappeared. Even the baby belly I was growing has decreased. It's very hard not to think that more doom and gloom is coming on Thursday.
I know there are a lot of stories of people who make it through an entire pregnancy with a SCH and deliver a healthy happy Bebe, but remember this is JD and I we are talking about. We have the worst luck. And unfortunately as recent events have shown it appears that at no time in the future is this going to change.
I hope none of my blogger friends ever have to experience this.