September 13, 2010

Relief...? Where are You?

I have been waiting for the relief from the Lupron pain to begin.  It's not happening.  Apparently I'm just going to feel like a gigantic turd all the way through this cycle.  Well...that just makes me feel all optimistic n shit!  WRONG!!!   I'm feeling like this is all just a sign.  You are not meant to take these drugs.  You are not meant to sustain a pregnancy.  Your body is a gigantic cuckoo!  GIVE IT UP!!!

You know what I say to that...  Nothing...  Cause I'm lying in the fetal position hoping like heck this head ache and torso pain will go away!  I think I might actually have a bronchial problem.  I do not think this is all lurpon causing sickness.  But I really don't want to go to any Dr's office until after this cycle is finished.  I keep saying if by Friday it's not better, then if it's not by Monday, but truly, I have 0 that's right ZERO intentions of going. 

Oh I know!  This is not good for me.  Being on antibiotics would be much better than suffering my way through this.  My head knows this.  But I'm scared.  What if it's not bronchial.  What if it's something worse, much worse?  Then what?  How many more cancellations can I take?  How many times can my body fail me at this exact moment?  Urrrggghhh!  Whatever!  What will be will be.

Okay I'm done grumping!

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