August 16, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...

It has been an interesting week, to say the least.  First off I've been in a dark place emotionally.  Not really low or sad, just a dark mood.  One of those moods where you very likely will bite some one's head off for looking at you the wrong way...  I have not been fun to live with.  What is really different is that JD has also been in this type of mood.  So the two of us were continually bickering.  We are both under an immense amount of pressure with our business', and well you know the regular IF stresses.  At one point it all comes to head together.  Things with business are not going to get any less stressful for a little while, but we are used to this, and we are pretty good at managing to keep that stress at the office where it belongs!

We had a big decision to make over the weekend regarding our IF battle. 

We received an e-mail last week from our original agency that handled our nightmare DE Cycle #1.  It was a very nice e-mail about how they had been reviewing their year, and our case kept sticking with them.  We were the failure that was supposed to have succeeded.  Beautiful embryos, great lining, young uterus (yeah right!), all the stars were aligned, we just fell into the unlucky stats.  They are offering us an all inclusive cycle for a discounted price of $8,500 (US).  They apparently just don't feel right about leaving us behind.

Now keep in mind our cycle including the FET cost us $36,000.  So this really is a serious discount.  What I liked about this e-mail was their ability to share the fault of our lack of success without actually saying we fucked up!  Which they did... 

Now obviously this should be a no brainer...  No Thank You!  We've moved on...  But...For some reason this gave JD and I a moment's pause.  We have talked about going with them again as recently as June.  We really did like our Dr, our donor, and everyone affiliated with the agency.  And I can't blame them for our failures, I mean c'mon since then we've removed my tubes and found them to be toxic. 

Bottom line is this though.  We have so far to date proven to be a tough case.  Regardless of our age (not such a young pup anymore!) we very likely may need more than 1 transfer to be successful.  If we did the discounted cycle, there is no guarantee that we will have frosties.  And there really isn't enough $ left over to do another full fresh cycle with anyone else.  No we are going to stay at Shady45.  We are going to roll the dice.  We are going to pray that if we are successful on our first transfer that there might (God help me here) be frosties left over for siblings. 

I will send an e-mail to the original agency today.  I will recommend that they change their protocol to include a mock for every patient, so no one has to go through what we did.  I will cheekily tell them I am now with another clinic, but if they would like to refund the money for the vitrification I would find that  a satisfactory apology for their part to play in our failure...  :) 


Mad Hatter said...

Oh, I hope they send you some money! That would be awesome! It's great that they e-mailed you and that they still care about your case. Good for you for making a decision you are at peace with. Hope you're feeling better and lighter soon.

cath said...

Hello ks,
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I know that your blog helps a lot. However, if you ever wanted to talk to/meet a woman with pof, please email me at (we just changed domain name from I can put you (and your husband if he wants) in touch with someone near you. Sometimes helps to talk to someone. Take good care,