January 14, 2010

Low Mood

I haven't posted in a while as I have been in a really, really low mood.  I've had a headache for 2 days straight.  I'm really trying not to take anything for it, but the lights in my office are killing me.  I think I'm going to break down and go purchase some Ad.vil.  I have a bad feeling that Saturday's u/s is not going to be good.  I have a feeling we are going to be cancelled again.  Blahhhh!  No reason why I feel this way, I just do. 

I've been so low that I haven't even commented lately on my support forum.  I had to force myself to go on this morning and wish congrats to those that are having successful cycles.  I haven't made any phone calls to set up the consults, I haven't e-mailed my co-ordinator for this cycle about prescriptions I still need.  I've done nothing! 

I guess I'm just kind of feeling like what's the point???  I know that there are a lot of success stories out there.  I just have this horrible feeling that JD and I are not going to be one of them, whatever we do.  It could very likely be the hormones bringing me down.  It could also be that I'm getting ready for an FET at the same place, where my dreams crumbled two months ago.  I'm questioning the clinic my agency has used.  I'm questioning if everything was legit.  How would we really know???  The more questions I ask on my support forum, the worse I feel about where we've already been.  Oh man!  I am low...

 And I had promised myself I was going to stay positive.  What the HELL happened to me?  I'm sorry for the wooo is me post.  I'm hoping that by getting this off my chest it will lighten my mood a little.


babyrecipe said...

I would chalk this up to hormones. Sometimes they bring me down too - each cycle is different. And the weather this time of year can be a factor too. Keep you hopes up!

MAJ Bryen said...

If you remember, I felt the same way about my cycle too. Light can make a real difference in mood. I'm hoping you feel better and more like yourself soon!

Mad Hatter said...

((Hugs)) I understand too well how you feel. This is so bloody hard. Do whatever it takes to be kind to yourself right now.

musicmakermomma said...

Wow, I can really relate to your mood! I hope your u/s was good today, and it gave you a boost. I am just not motivated to do ANYTHING this cycle, it all seems like such a waste of time. Hopefully I can get in the groove next week - and you too!