I really am! I'm trying so hard to be positive about this cycle. But I have to admit that I really have a hard time believing that this could work. I think because I've seen nothing but negative pregnancy tests, fertility tests, and hormone levels, that I can't really imagine that it could actually work.
And what makes it really hard for me is that our families and JD are so excited and optimistic that it kills me to think that I just might let everyone down again. On top of this the money! Yowza!!! We definitely can not afford to do this again. We have our own business and we have to count every penny. If we wanted to do it again it is going to take us at least 2 years so save. That would mean no money going into RRSP, no home improvements, no vacation, keeping the offices at bare staff to save money. I don't want to go back to working 7 days a week 52 weeks a year! Done that been there!
AHHHH! And I know I'm not supposed to be stressing. I just can't help it. The closer we get the more my anxiety builds. I know I have to shake this off, and I hope by voicing my concerns that I'm lifting some of the burden I'm feeling. And all I can do at this point is really pray that this time after 4 years of failures (more like 10) my body actually co-operates!!! God do I ever pray!!!