June 2, 2009


Have I ever got a case of the BLAHS!!! I can't shake it! Nothing has happened, I'm just not my usual self. I don't want to be at work, I don't want to go to this Wine and Cheese I'm supposed to go to tomorrow night. I want to do nothing. I want to be at home with my fur babies, do laundry, iron, clean my house, make dinner...see nobody...I just want to be by myself, and do the things I find kind of zen. No talking, no questions, none of my customers, just me and my doggies... Awww to dream!

I don't work ridiculous hours anymore like I used to. I started tappering back at the beginning of the trouble ttc, thinking that if I down sized the stress things might work out...Nope! I work every other weekend, and I am in the office everyday for at least 6-7 hours, no 12-13 hours days, well 1 every 2 weeks. And lately I feel like I'm just coming in to show my face and answer reports. I'm not productive! God isn't that the truth!!! LOL!

JD and I haven't taken a real vacation in 2 1/2 years. We took 2 weeks off last summer to build an interlock patio, walk way, and put in underground sprinklers. So it was not a vacation. It was way more labour intesive then our regular grind. And throughout that I was on Clomid (in agony) not being monitored, and not ovulating. It was then I talked to JD about taking a leave of absence. And I still haven't done it. I keep waiting for him to do the schedule and just schedule me out of the mix, but the new schedule is due out tomorrow and I'm sure I'm going to be the one doing it which means, I'll be here in the office for another 2 weeks (80 hours). Doing what I do, and not improving my mood! Awesome!

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