November 5, 2012

Waiting...

It's Beta Day...And I'm nervous...  I was the second person at the clinic this morning.  I think I should be getting a call within the hour...or I'm hoping...  I don't know...

I feel so blessed to even be here.  I never thought I would ever get a chance to get pregnant once let alone twice!  And in all honesty it is the reason I have peed on 9 yes 9 HPT.  LOL!  Because looking at 2 solid lines just never gets old, especially when you never get to pee on anything!  Hahahaha!

But in all honesty.  LolaBean is more than I ever imagined.  And you know if things don't turn out as they should...I'm okay with just her.  She fulfills me more than I ever would have thought.  I'm so full of love for this child.  And it's because of this love why I wanted to try for a second.  I don't want her to be lonely.  I want for her to have the joy of having a sibling to play with, to confide in, to tease, to love.

But I still feel selfish for wanting this.  And this is truly only an infertile's feelings.  Most normal people don't feel selfish for wanting a second child.  But we do...Because there are so many of us still waiting for their firsts.  Oh how I wish for all of you to get your first.  I pray that you get to experience these joys that I cherish every day.  And I do cherish them.  Every moment.  I thank God for blessing us.

To Be Continued....

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