April 24, 2012


This question has been raised by a lot of fellow blog IF'rs.  What do I do with my blog once I have found success?  Do I close up shop and start a new blog? 

I have no intentions of closing this blog.  Why?  Because we aren't done yet.  I am still and will always be an infertile woman.  I will never have a 'miracle' baby.  I will always need DE. 

JD and I still have hope to build the family we want.  Just not right away.  We are aiming to do an FET with our one and only frozen embryo in October.  I haven't been focusing on this when I blog for a couple of reasons.

1.  I have zero intention of attempting an FET while I am overweight.  I absolutely refuse to enter into (hopefully) a second pregnancy heavy.
2.  Because we only have one embryo left, my hopes for a success are very small. 
3.  Because if this little frostie doesn't take we have no idea how or if we can continue on with any treatments.
4.  It's all too depressing to think and focus on.
5.  And right now I'm focusing on the miracle we have, instead of what I don't have, can't have, and so desperately want...more children...

I love motherhood.  It is the most tiring, dirty, fun, loving job I've ever had.  I wake up every morning so thankful for my Dr's, my donor, my board friends (that led me to SG), and to my blog sisters (for their continued support).  I honestly can't tell you how grateful I am.

I want to keep blogging for those that are stumbling through just as I was 7 years ago.  Trying desperately to find a way to become a mother.  I want others to know that they are not alone.  I want them to know that perseverance can pay off.  I want them to know that some stories do in fact have a happy ending.  I also want to continue blogging to celebrate Miss Lola.  And all the adventures we will have together.  I want her to one day read my blog and truly understand her mother and how desperately she was loved, cherished and wanted.

I know I've lost some readers along the way.  And to those that have trouble reading my posts or who are bored with my WWW (weigh ins)... I'm sorry...  I know how horrible it feels when it seems as though you are the only one left behind.  I've been there.  And to those bored with WWW... Sorry!  :)  But I really do need to lose this weight, my future FET depends on it.

Anyway...this is where my head is right now with blogging.  These are my intentions.  At least for now...  Again I truly apologize if reading my posts about Miss LolaBean upsets anyone.  I get it.  I really do.  I've been there.  I'm still an infertile with you, I still hurt with you...but...I understand if you want to unfollow me. 

Much Love!



J o s e y said...

I'm glad you're still blogging in this space! It's great to see Lola growing up and to motivate each other in the WWWs.

Anonymous said...

Will be blogging right along with you! As a fellow DE mamma myself, I need to continue to blog as a way to connect with other DE mammas out there. So glad to have met you and dream of the day when we can meet IRL. If you ever need to freak/vent about your upcoming FET, feel free to email me. Would be happy to give you my cell # to text/bbm as well.