March 1, 2012


Okay so I had promised a post about LolaBean going to the sitter's.  She's been about 4 times now.  Only for 1/2 days right now.  And it's going really well.  Almost too well...  (does that make sense?)  She's really comfortable there, she naps, eats, poops, plays, even has done a craft or two!  And I really like the woman!  It's a home.  She has 1 other little boy who I know from my mommy n me group (he's 1) and 1 other little girl Charlotte (18 months).  Lola really gets along with them well.  The woman has 3 kids of her own.  An 18 year old and twin (boy/girl) 15 year olds.  So she's done the baby thing...  And I love that she isn't taking anymore kids.  3 is her max.  That way I know Lola is getting the attention she deserves.

A couple of things I don't like....  The main one is I HATE being home without my baby.  Because I've been sick the last two times Lola has gone I've just come home and hung out or cleaned.  You would think that would be welcomed, well it isn't.  I love my LolaBean.  I hate being away from her.  The second thing that I don't like is that Lola doesn't even notice when I leave her there, or when I pick her up.  Sure I get smiles.  But it's not like "Oh Mommy where have you been?  I missed you!"  I know, I know I should thank my lucky stars that Lola is so easy going that she enjoys going to the sitter.  But a part of me feels like I don't really matter.  It could be anyone looking after her and she would be happy.  It makes me feel replaceable.  I know she's still pretty young, and things might change (I doubt it), but it's like a double edged sword.  If things change then I am going to hate going back to work even more than I already do.  But man it would feel nice to be wanted.

On the work front...we have some changes coming to my store.  They are actually double branding my store!  In other words they are giving me another agency.  WTF?!?!?!  I guess the main reason they wanted me to return is they wanted an agency owner in there when they rolled out the second brand to ensure that it got worked properly and was given the best possible chance of success.  I guess I should be flattered (and I am) but still I really don't want to go back to work!

Okay...?  Blogger is being rather screwy right now!!??  Whatever!  Anyway I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm back at 166lbs.  FUCK!!!  But I think my AF is here too, so ..?  I'm back at the gym tomorrow full throttle.  Pneumonia be damned!  Peace!

Much Love!


Michelle D said...

Lola will totally get there. The clinging and crying for you to and the joyful upon your return. I think it's more an object permanence thing still...they say it really kicks in firmly with babies around 8-10 months. So don't feel bad although it's hard not to. Before you know it you'll have to sneak out the door to avoid tears.
That is flattering with your work but goodness frustrating too I'm sure. I hope that you start feeling better soon and sorry you have been sick for so long.

Anonymous said...

Hey gave me great comfort to read that Lola is doing so well at daycare. I am nervous as hell about LN10 going to daycare in less than 4 weeks (transition time) and them me back to work May 1st.