November 15, 2011

Now...!?

After everything we've gone through...7 year battle to try to have a baby...NOW I'm regular and ovulating!  Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  Well that blows considering I have no tubes!  Mother...F*cker!!!

JD thinks I should call my local fertility clinic and get a day 3 work up done to see what's going on.  I don't think it's worth looking into myself.  I'm still breast feeding, and by the time I stop I'm sure my FSH will be back up to where it always is.  SkyHigh!  I've heard of your body resetting itself after pregnancy especially with POF.  With POF you can go in and out of menopause repeatedly.  But that doesn't mean any of those eggs I might have are any good.  There is still a ton of literature out there that says high FSH is indicative of egg quality.  And really do we need to get our hopes up over a $14,000 gamble?!? 

I mean if it was close to the time we were going to do an FET I would entertain the idea of attempting an IVF, with hopes of transferring our DE embie and what every OE embie we got.  But we are so not ready to try for another baby yet.  Whatever...it's not going to happen so it's not worth stressing or making myself crazy over.  It just pisses me off that the last 2 months I know I was ovulating and there's nothing we can do about it!   
Infertility Blows Goats!!!

Honestly though I can't wait to try for a second baby.  I cried yesterday remembering that 1 year ago I lost Lola's sister/brother.  God how I would have loved to have another one just like her.  She is just so very wonderful.  She sleeps like a dream.  She is the happiest baby around.  And I tell you strangers come up to me to tell me how beautiful my daughter is.  And she really is.  I stare at her and think..."God let go of one of his angels for us!" 

Okay I'm sorry for going on about her, but I'm just so in love.  And I hope anyone who is struggling with the idea of DE reads this and realizes what an incredible gift it truly is. 

I'm off now for the night!  More posts are swirling in my head but they will come later this week...I promise!

Much Love!

ks

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

She is a dream!!
JD

LisainSK said...

Sorry you are still on the "treadmill"...that does blow!! But you have that mamma glow that's for sure!!