December 9, 2009

Roller Coaster...Let me OFF!!!

And I love them!  But this one I've had enough of.  I've had enough high and low days thanks!  I'm done with this ride. 

The consult call I went home and waited all afternoon for never came.  Bum me out.  I'm going to call them today...maybe not...maybe yes...  Maybe I'm afraid...  Afraid they'll say no you don't qualify...  Or they'll say the price has just gone up to  .....  (insert ridiculous amount here)! 

I feel like I'm a kitten that has been stepped on...I'm jumpy and scared of everything!

You would think after 5 years of ttc our friends would be pretty in tune with what to say and what not to say.  I love my friends and they just don't really understand.  Which is good because I wouldn't wish this fate on anyone!  But...  Friggen heck!  One of our close friends yesterday says to me "y'know my wife's friends went through the same crap for a couple of years, did 3 ivf's, then got  a second opinion, started antibiotics and the next month WAMMO they were pregnant!" 

After I picked my jaw up off the counter I said well there will be no WAMMO moments for us!  Not unless God himself is going to unblock my scarred shut tubes and will my body to make some great eggs.  It isn't happening!  We have NO CHOICE!!! 

MMMMMMMMMM!!!!  Getting control....1..2...3...4...5....

3 comments:

Michelle D said...

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. It's amazing how many people just do not know what to say and don't know that when you don't know what to say sometimes it's better to say nothing. Been there a number of time with one of my best friends. I hope you find the courage to call the consult people and that you get some good news out of it :) Take care

babyrecipe said...

Call them back about the consult - maybe they got the day wrong or had an emergency. I highly doubt it's about you. My friends have been very patient with me, but I'm starting to see that they are getting tired of the topic. They think they know what I should do and it's weird when I don't do what they think I should do - it's like I'm wrong and they are right. I just want this to end too and have a baby! Hang in there! Katie

Mad Hatter said...

Ohhhh, antibiotics!!! Now why didn't we think of that? Now all our problems are solved!!
Sorry about the clueless friend, and sorry you didn't get the call.
Hoping things look better soon.