On Infertile Ground

Going through my usual blog rolls on the weekend.  I came across a blog post about this documentary.  It's called On Infertile Ground.  Please feel free to check it out here...On Infertile Ground

I really liked the clip I was able to view.  I liked it so much that I *liked* it on FB even.  After all these years of infertility I still find myself shy at times to post or really speak out.  

It's such a personal issue.

That and I don't want people thinking I'm looking for pity or attention.  Or maybe it's more so that it truly is such a personal journey, and some people might not understand.  

I blog yes.  But it's still a little anonymous.  There is really a small circle of people I confide in about my feelings regarding infertility.  I would love to contribute to discussions and projects about infertility, but I just don't know if I'm strong enough yet.  

I hate crying in front of people.  And I still cry.  Alone though.  

I don't know if there will be a time in the future when I won't cry about our infertility.  I really do think there is some credit to those that believe that this type of infertility can lead to PTSD.  I don't doubt it.  I'm 100% certain that I am forever scarred from that day in the RE's office.

My family building didn't go as I had planned.  We don't have as much money as we once did.  And we are older than we intended to be.  But...I was able to have a baby...I can always make more money...(who needs to retire anyway!)...and so what if my knees crack!  I'm happier today than I have even been.  And I've made some amazing discoveries about myself and my husband along the way.

Any who...Check out the documentary...support it if you can...

Much Love!

ks

P.S.

I had to write this post over 3 times.  My stupid computer keeps shutting down and not saving.  This is probably the worst draft of this post, but now I'm in a hurry!  LOL!  Of course!  More to come on FET prep!

P.P.S.

Do NOT watch "What to Expect When You are Expecting"  if you are not in the mood for Infertility stuff.  I wasn't prepared for it...Whoops!  Total buzz kill on a Saturday night!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope all my fellow Canadians had a great long weekend.  Enjoyed time with family and friends, and maybe ate a little turkey and some pumpkin pie!  JD's family and I will be celebrating our Thanksgiving tonight, after he and I are done work.  Yes that's right I said work!  We never close!!!  Trust me we do not want to be open on a statutory holiday, but it is a corporate mandate!  So here we are!

Anyway, we have dinner at his parents house tonight.  I thought I should bring something to dinner, and I've been making a lot of soups lately.  I thought why not try this recipe I have for Champagne Squash Soup!?  The reason I've been making a lot of soups is I don't like vegetables, and I'm trying really hard to eat more in my diet...  I seem not to have a problem with a lot of vegetables when they are puree'd in a soup.  So I thought great!!!  I can finally try squash.  Well let me tell you!  I HATE SQUASH!!!  It smells awful and tastes just as bad.  JD assures me the soup is good, I don't believe him, but I will take it to dinner tonight.  But I'm taking myself a small bowl of Tomatoe Curry Soup instead of the sqaush, because if I eat that again I might puke! 

We went out to the movies on Saturday to see A Cou.ples Ret.reat.  It was really funny!   I just wish I had know in advance that there was Infertility talk in it.  It wouldn't have stopped me from seeing it, but I would have been a little bit more mentally prepared.  Especially as it hits a very serious note with Infertile couples and how battling IF can destroy marriages.    I just really wanted one night out without being reminded I'm infertile.  So it kind of put a damper on my mood for the night, as I easily get lost in my own head.  Oh well!

Still nothing new to report on this cycle.  I stopped the prometrium last night.  Things might finally get rolling sometime this week, but I'm definitely not holding my breath. 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!  Make sure today you tell those around you that you love them and are thankful they are in your lives.  Life is too short not to tell family and friends how much they mean to you.  Be thankful for the things you have and hopeful for those that you dream of!